BREAKING NEWS!!

Well, I am hopeful that you are all finally getting back to your routines after last weekend's nuptials of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. I am soooo tired – still recovering from trying to care. What? You hadn’t heard? Where have you been? It’s been plastered all over the news. On the cover of every tabloid. The sole reason for E! Entertainment to exist…

I have just two questions about this wedding:

1. Who are these people?
&
2. Why should I care?

Okay, Lamar is in the NBA. I get why people know and perhaps care who he is. But Khloe Kardashian?!! Who is she? There are three Kardashian sisters if I’m not mistaken. Which one is she? Is she the one who was dating Reggie Bush? Is she the pregnant one? Is she the one whose hair is now lighter than it’s been in recent months? Who are these people?! And why must I constantly be accosted with information about them?

You know, after 9/11 happened, I thought, Now maybe our country can begin to focus on what’s important instead of on Britney Spears. At that time, Britney was everywhere and the paparazzi were following her every move. I remember thinking that the media was trying so hard to turn her into this manufactured star in the hopes we could one day compare her to a tragic legend like Marilyn Monroe. Then 9/11 happened and we began to think a little more seriously about what mattered to us as people and as a society.

But, here we are, eight years later and little has changed. And the worst part about it? Khloe makes me actually care about Britney! At least Britney can sing (okay, let's just say she's a singer). Khloe is a “reality” “star”. She’s not a singer. Not a dancer. Not a writer. Not an actress. Her father defended OJ Simpson. Her step-father is Bruce Jenner. But what has she done? What does she bring to the table? What does she contribute to the greater good? Now we are turning people with nothing to offer the world into these media darlings (hello, Paris Hilton!) and we have once again lost our way in determining what is important and what should be talked about.

Now any of you who know me, know that I love TV, movies, and discussing the Hollywood gossip and latest celebrity deaths. So maybe all of this is odd coming from me. I’m just so disappointed in my good friend, E! When E! was first launched, I’ll never forget it. It was as though my mothership had landed. Here was a network who would be devoted solely to famous people who made good TV shows, movies and music. Sure, it would highlight popular culture and not necessarily intellectual culture. It was like a Biography channel about slightly less interesting people than you’d find on A&E. It would be there simply to give you a little more background on celebrities you liked. What it does today is make stars of people who have no discernable talent other than maybe failing to wear underpants publicly.

I never watch E! anymore because they focus mostly on “young Hollywood” many of whom I’ve never heard of. They also have these ridiculous and trashy “reality” shows. Again, they are trying to make someone who isn’t seem interesting. Since they are telling me that these are the people I should care about or look to to set my standards, then they (E!) are dead to me. Even though I’ve sworn off E!, I still occasionally visit eonline.com for the latest entertainment headlines. But last weekend, it seemed like every hour they were posting some new BREAKING!!!! information about this wedding. First they showed us an invitation to the event which was later proven to be a fake/decoy. Then, by the grace of God, we were about to see the actual invitation. I was so relieved to be able to see the actual font that was chosen. It was as though I was able to be a part of their very special day.

I was also wondering how Lamar would celebrate on the night of his bachelor party. Where would he go? Who would accompany him? Would he do something foolish that would put a damper on the wedding itself (Mario Lopez-style)? Luckily, E! was able to provide me with updates. He ultimately chose something low-key. Whew! Marriage saved!

It was all so ridiculous and completely inconsequential in my life and in any normal person’s life other than the Kardashian and Odom families. A simple headline would have been more than sufficient. This couple shouldn’t be famous enough to even warrant that, but I would have been fine with it getting a mention. But E! lost their minds. Even CNN reported it!! Ugh! Is this the best we have to talk about? Apparently it’s the best I have to talk about…