Back To The Future

I am in the middle of a book I can’t put down. I’m embarrassed to say what it is because I’d really like for you to believe that I only read the classics, or dense, complex books of historical or political relevance. But, no, I’m reading a book that takes place in the mid-90’s where a girl gets her first computer and ends up watching her future play out before her eyes on Facebook (which, as we all know, was not invented yet). Not exactly high-brow literature. But, it’s one of those books where you are sucked in and can't wait to get to the next chapter.  It's one where you want to see how what the characters are doing today changes the future they see on Facebook. It makes you wonder how things we do today and choices we make are shaping what tomorrow looks like for each of us.

For example, if I hadn’t pledged a sorority in college (which is not like me at all, by the way), I probably would not have gotten involved in campus activities. I did get involved on campus and became interested in working at a college/university to help other students come out of their shell and become leaders. I decided to pursue a Master’s degree in Higher Education Administration. One program was at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. I chose that one because it was good program but also because I had family there. Once I graduated, I accepted a job in Murfreesboro because it was still fairly close to Knoxville and I wanted to return there one day. While in Murfreesboro, I met and worked with Stuart, who would become one of my dearest friends. Stuart’s friend, Lena, moved to Nashville and she and I got to be friends through Stuart. Stuart and Lena knew a guy named Mike that reminded them of me. They introduced us and this year Mike and I will celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. See that? I have my life today all because I was a Delta Delta Delta (can I help ya, help ya, help ya).

Of course you could go back further and say that I wound up pledging that particular sorority because of the choice I made to go to Auburn and that I made the choice to go to Auburn because my friends were going there, and on and on and on. But the point is, we make choices each day that take us down a path. If just one of those things hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have my husband, my kids or my life. I would most likely just be a crazy “dog” lady somewhere.

The book, called The Future of Us, also makes me wonder what I would think about my life if I saw all of what I am and have today on Facebook 15 years ago. Fifteen years ago, the year was 1997. I was single, living in Knoxville, and in graduate school working toward a master’s degree in Higher Education Administration. I was missing my beloved dog, Lily, who had just died unexpectedly at the age of six so I was sad about that.  I was spending time with my grandmother, "Gannie", and my Aunt Connie, both of whom lived in Knoxville and included me in their Sunday night dinners. Other than that, I was kind of bored. Didn’t have tons of friends in grad school. I mean, I had friends; it was just that it was a small program. And the people in it were not unlike me, which is to say that they were not terribly social. So, I spent a lot of time by myself. I was okay with that.

Truth be told, I think I was also a little depressed. I was bummed abouty my dog.  I was lonely and I was watching friends start to get married. I didn’t want to get married at the time – mainly because I didn’t have anyone in my life who made me want to be married, but everyone else seemed to kind of be headed toward something. I wasn’t sure where I was going. Even my grad program wasn’t what I considered my calling to be. (Fifteen years later, I still don’t know what that is.) My sister was also expanding her family at that time. She was married and about to have her first child. I felt she didn’t really need me as much anymore. I guess I was just kind of bored.  I was still happy. Just a little bored. It was great fun getting to spend time with my grandmother and aunt. It’s such a gift to be able to be friends in adulthood with family members. Gannie has since passed away, but Connie continues to be someone who I appreciate having a friendship with.

So where was I?  No job. No significant other. Certainly no kids. If I had known then that I would be a wife and mother and working (part-time, but still) I would have asked you who I would one day switch bodies with. It just didn’t seem in the cards for me at all. Up until roughly six years and nine months ago, I never wanted to have children. I would have freaked out then if I knew I was going to have two daughters.

Really, the most impressive thing is that I actually GAVE BIRTH. I mean, putting aside everything that goes into parenting for just a minute, the biggest accomplishment for someone like me is intentionally getting pregnant even knowing that at some point; those babies have to get out of there. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I have birthed two babies. I can’t believe I carried them in my body and didn’t have to be institutionalized when the time came to have them come out. 

When Kate was born, she was 10 weeks early, so I wasn’t at all prepared for childbirth. That actually was a good thing for me in retrospect. She was 2lbs., 10 oz. and 14 inches long. To put it in perspective, it’s like passing a pork chop through your vagina instead of the whole pig. I got off easy. (Poor choice of words. Moving on…) A number of my friends who have had their kids vaginally, say that I really can’t count Kate’s birth as a vaginal birth. I didn’t have to go through what they went through. Fair enough.

I got pregnant with Meg right around Kate’s first birthday. Again, I just wasn’t thinking about the fact that one day she’d come out. I sort of blocked that part of it out. But then, about eight months into it, we learned that she was breach. I was too far along to try and turn her around so either she would have to do it herself, or they were going to have to do a C-section. A C-section? Me? Are you serious?! No way! I am the world’s biggest wuss. There’s no way anyone was going to slice my abdomen open and remove my organs to get this baby out. And yet, I did it. I think if I had seen that on Facebook fifteen years ago, I might not have ever allowed myself to get pregnant! 

I think I always thought I probably would get married. I was in a place where I knew I wasn’t going to have to get married in order to have a full life, but I just kind of felt like someone somewhere would not think I was a total idiot. Enter Mike all those years ago. If my 1997 self had seen who my 2012 self would have a life with, my 1997 self would have been extremely impressed and probably very worried that something would come along a derail my whole future. My husband is everything I would have chosen if I could have created a mate from scratch. He was a lesson to me – that I will pass along my girls – that the right person is out there. You just have to be patient and not accept anything that isn’t right. 

If my 1997 self knew that I’d be in good enough shape to run in 5ks in 2012, I would think that an alien had taken over my body and was posing as me. If I had known I’d somehow be able to work part-time and manage to get the kids’ homework done and dinners fixed (occasionally) I also would have been stunned. So, I suppose what I’m saying is that, as I look back on the past 15 years, I am very happy with how things are turning out in my life. I’m content; but not only content. I’m happy. I’m happy with who I am and what I have in terms of the life I live. 

One thing that hasn’t changed from 1997 is that I am still searching for what I think my calling is in life. I know a big part of it is to be a mother to these two precious girls and to be a wife to my wonderful husband. But I do still feel like there’s something else out there for me to do. What it is I’m just not sure. Maybe fifteen years from now, in 2027, I’ll have that answer. Hopefully I’ll be a more fleshed out version of what I am today. And by that I don’t mean that I hope there will be more flesh. I’m having a hard enough time trying to maintain a good weight in my thirties. I don’t expect my forties to be very kind in that regard. But in life – the things we do everyday, the people we impact – it all makes up the package of who we are and who we are to become. Hopefully I’m laying groundwork today that will keep me growing in a way that if I could see it playing out today, I’d be proud of. 

Wow! All of that from this silly little book I’m reading! That's awfully deep thinking from someone who is so enthralled with this book.  Maybe I should put the book down and go read the latest People Magazine to give my brain a rest.  It'll defintely work as long as one of the friggin' Kardashians is on the cover.

Maggie McCallie's Oscars Fashion Review 2012

Since my last post was about my experiences with the rich and famous, I thought I'd continue that trend by commenting on the fashion at this year's Oscars.  I mean who better to make comments about the style choices of these people than someone who was wearing Lucky Brand jeans, a Blue Canoe hoodie, with a JJill tank and Dansko clogs while watching the event unfold?  Actually, that's what I was wearing before the telecast.  Once things got underway and I was in the comfort of my own home, I was wearing an old, ratty t-shirt that used to be white but is now more ecru, and an almost threadbare pair of flannel pants from Victoria Secret that I've had for about 9 years.  Anyhoo... let's get started with:

MAGGIE MCCALLIE'S OSCARS FASHION REVIEW 2012
*Maggie McCallie knows nothing of fashion



Let's start with Octavia Spencer.  She's an Auburn alum (War Eagle!) and was actually on campus while I was there.  I remember her.  You might say we were friends.  We weren't.  Never talked to her.  But, you still might want to say it.  She was fabulous in The Help.  I was so excited she won.  Of course, it wasn't a surprise she won.  Everyone predicted she would.  But she looked stunning.

The dress was perfect for her figure and was just gorgeous in general.  She could not have looked any better.

Then there's Gwenyth Paltrow.  If there's one person I feel sorry for, it's her.  She's just so plain.  Her body is just...ehh.  Nothing special as you can clearly see below.

I mean, GOOD GOD!  Goddess, actually.  She's perfect!  PERFECT!  Well, not perfect.  She's too thin.  And she's wearing a cape which I can't say I approve of.  But once that cape came off, she looked like a princess.  Or a barbie.  Or a princess barbie.  I hate her.  I don't really.  I want to.  But I can't.  She's too cool.  So, let's move on to someone I do hate.

It's a good thing Angelina isn't full of herself.  I mean, after she stole the husband of tv's favorite Friend, Jennifer Aniston, women everywhere hated her.  So, how does she respond?  By sticking her veiny, anorexic looking leg out from underneath her dress at every opportunity.  She is disgusting. I'm getting pissed off.  Let's go back to people that I do like.

Here is Meryl Streep.

She has a tendency to look frumpy - not unlike myself - but I thought she looked exquisite Sunday night.  She looked like an Oscar!  I was a little disappointed that Viola Davis didn't win, which is not a slight to Meryl.  I love Meryl.  I always want her to win.  And her speech was awesome.  She seems like she's such an cool, interesting person.  So, I like her a lot and I like that she is her own person and doesn't conform to Hollywood's idea of what women should look like.  She looked beautiful.


Since we were talking about Viola Davis, let's cover her next.

What a gorgeous gown and a gorgeous color.  I'm not wild about her hair like this.  I don't mind the hairstyle at all but I think I like her better with more hair around her face.  Still, she looked great.  And her performance in The Help was one of the highlights of the year.  She was the heart and soul of that film and if I would have been happy for anyone to beat Meryl, it would have been her.


Let's stay on people with short hair.

Michelle Williams

She keeps getting nominated for Oscars but has everyone forgotten that she used to be on Dawson's Creek? Anyway, she is very, very good.  I didn't see the movie she was nominated for, but I'm sure she was great in it.  She was very good in Brokeback Mountain (yes, I saw it).  You know what I didn't like her in?  This dress.  I'm not a fan of the color and I loathe the bow and the pink clutch.  I also normally love the pixie haircut.  Wish I could have one myself.  But I don't love it on her.  She's a pretty girl but she needs more hair.

Another red dress at the Oscars was the one Emma Stone was wearing.

I thought the color was gorgeous, but Nicole Kidman wore almost the exact same dress a few years ago.  I think this one is pretty, but Emma is young and fiery.  This dress is too old for her. And I don't think the color looks good with her hair color.  Of course, what do I know, but this dress would have been much better on someone older who was trying to hide imperfections in their figure.

UGH!  There's that damn leg again!



Moving on... let's tackle a trend I am 100% not a fan of.  Bangs.

Starting from the left, Rooney Mara really didn't have a choice.  She had to cut her hair for her freaky Girl With A Dragon Tattoo role.  There's not a whole lot she could have done with it.  This look however, was reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn - if Audrey Hepburn had been a goth dominatrix.  Anna Faris is in the middle.  She's hilarious.  I love her.  but I hate her hair.  Sadly, this look is actually an improvement over the big, bushy bang look she had earlier this year when she hosted Saturday Night Live.  But it is just not flattering at all.  Then on the right, there's Ellie Kempler from Bridesmaids.  Had she not been a presenter during the Oscars, I would have assumed that she had gotten lost from not being able to see and had just wandered onto the red carpet.  How can she see anything?!  Those bangs are ridiculous!  Ladies and Gentlemen, these women are why I am currently in the painstaking process of growing my daughter's bangs out.

I'm getting pissed off again.  Let's move on.  Here's an interesting dichotomy.  How did this person

become this person?

Glenn Close is a gorgeous woman.  But for someone who can look so good, she sure can dog-ass it up.  My gracious!  What kind of make-up does this woman wear?  If you are capable of looking like that first picture, then you must have one hell of a stylist if they can transform you into the latter.


Here's another person that I can't decide if they are actually pretty or just have a good stylist.  Cameron Diaz.

I can look at her sometimes and think she is beautiful.  Other times I look at her and think her eyes are so far apart that one of them is about to creep off of the side of her face.  This is one of those times when I look at her and think she is beautiful.  She's a little too toned - she's on her way to Madonna arms.  But this dress - the style, the color - looks really great on her.  I'm not real sure what's up with her hair.  Sure, it's better than it was with the "hair gel" in There's Something About Mary but it looks like an afterthought.  I'm sensitive to that, because my hair always looks like an afterthought even though I can guarantee it is not.  The end result of my hair is never proportional to the amount of time and effort I put into it.  It's depressing.  But, surely Cameron has a stylist who could have done a little more.


Someone's stylist who could've done a little less is Melissa McCarthy.

It pains me to say it because I really do like her and thought she was awesome in Bridesmaids, but this dress is awful.  It looks like a 1970's dress.  Not a "vintage" dress, but a tacky 1970's-fashion dress.  It looks like something that would have been worn by SNL's Sweeney Sisters.  Observe:

Really bad.

Speaking of really bad...

I hated this dress.  Joan Rivers and company really liked it and nominated her for their "best dressed" choice, but I just didn't like this look at all.  First of all, the Cinnabon on top of her head looks ridiculous.  She's a gorgeous woman, but her hair is pulled back so tight I'm afraid her eyeballs are about to pop out and injure someone.  And this dress calls attention to the size of her hips.  Is her body better than mine?  Yep.  Would I kill for it?  Yep.  But the woman has hips and this dress is like a marquis with flashing lights announcing to please direct your attention right to that area.  I don't care for it.

I also don't care for this look:

This is Shailene Woodley from The Descendants.  She is a pretty, young girl.  This dress is way too old for her.  Dame Judy Dench should be wearing this dress.  Those sleeves look like something my elementary school's librarian would have sported back in the 80's.  Really bad.  The dress kind of reminds me of this:

If only she had a gun and two Cinnabons for the sides of her head.

My goodness someone please slap this woman.



My final critique will be for Sandra Bullock.  Here's her choice for Oscar night.

Normally I think she looks pretty good.  But this dress was a little Julius Caesar for my taste.  I wasn't wild about it.  It has an odd fit to it.  And her face looked weird to me.  It looked like it was pulled because her hair is pulled a little tight too.  She kind of reminded me of this:

So, based on all of this, who would I say is my pick for "Best Dressed"?  Well, how about this woman?

If not her, then I guess Octavia and Gwenyth.  They were both just stunning.  Gwenyth never disappoints... unless you count this:

And hopefully we'll be seeing more of Octavia at awards ceremonies in the years to come.  Happy Oscars everyone!