WHY?

There are a few things that have been bothering me lately. Nagging questions I have that I would really be happy to find an answer to. Here they are. If anyone has any insight, I would be ever so grateful.


1. WHY are midriff-revealing shirts coming back in style? Other than maybe some 13 year old girls and fat rednecks in KMart, no one is happy displaying their belly!

2. WHY is it that it takes 21 days to intentionally form a habit (exercising) yet it takes no time at all to adopt a bad one (napping when you should be exercising)?

3. WHY does it take men twenty minutes or more to accomplish in the bathroom what I can take care of in less than three?

4. This is a two-part question - WHY is Kate Gosselin famous? *and* WHY hasn't she been voted off of Dancing With The Stars? I do not know a single person who a) likes this woman or b) wants to know anything about her life.

5. WHY did God give me girls when it is clear I cannot style hair? He has seen my hair for years. Why would He do this? I guess He has a sense of humor after all.

6. Ooooh wait! I thought of another Kate Gosselin question - WHAT is up with her hair?! (I guess to fit the WHY theme of this post I should ask, WHY does she style it like that?)

7. WHY do I have a freckle right next to my eye that looks like a permanent eye booger? Perhaps it's the whole God having a sense of humor thing, but really! I had to stop wearing brown eye liner because I was fearful that people who didn't know me or see me often would think it really was an eye booger. Now I wear a bluish-grey color to eliminate any confusion.

8. On this same subject, HOW do you spell "booger"? Is it booger or bugar? WHY are there two options for this word?

9. Wait, wait, wait! Another KG question - WHY was she on the cover of People magazine the week after the Oscars when they could have focused on the winners and losers?

10. WHY is it that certain songs stand the test of time even when they are clearly horrendous? I'm thinking of "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles. This damned song was released in 1989 and I guess it had some success - spent two weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100. But I can be listening to the radio any time, any day and this annoying song will come on. It could be a classic rock station. It could be an easy listening station. It could be a Best-Of-The-70's-80's-90's-and-Today station. It's everywhere! And I detest it. The song is from 1989. It's 2010, people. Let's let it go.

11. Speaking of standing the test of time, WHY are certain expressions still around? Kate came home from school the other day saying sarcastically to her sister, "Nanny Nanny Boo Boo!" Was this expression really that insulting back in the day? I mean, if you really want to cut someone off at the knees, give 'em a Nanny Nanny Boo Boo. That'll show 'em. I guess that way back when, someone said it and someone else thought it was funny. Who knows how many years later, it is still being said in playgrounds all across the country.

12. WHY do people feel they need a nose-ring? There are just certain parts of my body that I guess I just don't feel like need bedazzling. My nose is one such body part. I see someone with a nose ring and I wonder about what is caked all over that thing on the inside. (More booger/bugar talk. What is wrong with me today?)

13. WHY can't people simply let you over when you are trying to get into another lane of traffic? The worst thing you could possibly do if you are trying to change lanes is to turn on your blinker. That little flashing light turns all other drivers into selfish, cutthroat jerks. It's like people think if they allow you to take the position ahead of them that you'll let that go to your head. Or that gasp! you might beat them to your destination.

You want to get over? You can suck it! No one is going to make a fool out of me by beating me to that next mile marker!

14. WHY does my dog always choose the time when I am just about to fall asleep at night to jump up on the bed and begin loudly licking his privates?

15. WHY is it that wherever I am standing to take a picture of my children, I always end up at their backs when I snap the photo? They'll be saying CHEEEESE! and as soon as my finger goes to press the button - BAM! They turn around and face the other direction. So, I'll reposition myself and go over to the other side. Same thing. My children's backs have been photographed in some really nice settings. The only time they cooperate and face me for a picture is when their hair looks like they just rolled out of bed or they have boogies (third and last mention of boogers) in their noses.

16. WHY am I always the very last person in any line? If I'm in line at a drive-thru, there will be 7-8 other people and they are all in front of me. I wait and I wait and I wait. I finally get my food. No one is behind me. If I had just gotten there 10 minutes later, I would have been first. This happens every time! If I'm in line at the bank or at the store - same thing. My timing is off.



And finally...

17. WHY did I just discover that the bag I had removed from Kate's school backpack the day they had their Easter party (a mere 13 days ago) and placed on my kitchen counter top only to ignore it until today contained two real, actual eggs - hard boiled eggs - that have been rotting this whole time.

This is a sign of a few things: My laziness you have read so much about - I never looked in that bag and it has just been sitting there on my counter untouched and unmoved for 13 days. Also, stupidity. Why did the teachers send kids home with real eggs? Surely I am not the only parent who doesn't immediately empty the contents of everything that comes home from school.

Right?

Right??!!

It's also a sign that apparently the scent of rotten eggs really isn't that strong since I never noticed it. The only reason I discovered it was because I finally found the will to tidy up the kitchen. I wasn't searching for a mystery smell that was inhabiting my kitchen. I was simply cleaning up. So, I guess the old expression, "Last one in is a rotten egg" isn't really that much of an insult.

Wait! One more - WHY is that expression still around?