Happy New Year! We are now into February and I have missed several opportunities for hilarious blog posts already this year. Let's see, there was the Golden Globes - the fashion disasters and odd speeches were enough for two posts! There was the news of a Kim Kardashian/Kanye West baby - a sure sign the world must be coming to an end. And speaking of baby bumps - all of Britain (and, inexplicably, America) were on the edge of their seats trying to catch a glimpse of Princess (Duchess?) Kate's new baby bump. But all of it pales in comparison to my family's third trip to Disney World.
Okay, maybe the Kim and Kanye baby is a bigger deal than what's taking place in my small section of the world (I mean, can you imagine the level of confidence that kid will have??), BUT, there is something about Disney that just brings out the kid in everyone and our family has such a great time every time we go. I must start out by saying that I am not the type of person who usually likes a Disney-type phenomenon. I am sarcastic and cynical. I don't get into things like that. It's hard for me to relax and enjoy something that is, by nature, so ridiculous and over-done. I like my space. I like solitude. I don't like a tremendous amount of heat and humidity. I loathe large groups and cliches - both of which are a huge part of the lure of Disney. And yet, I cannot say enough positive things about being there with my family.
The three times we have visited Disney have all been in January. Since Mike also doesn't like crowds, we figure that that's the time when the fewest amount of people will be there. (Why should we expose ourselves to a situation that requires that we interact with anyone?!) The weather is cool or, at the very least unpredictable which keeps people away. It's right after people have spent a bunch of money on Christmas. Kids are back in school. It's PERFECT! The longest lines (with a Fast Pass) have traditionally been only about 30 minutes for us. That's unheard of during the warmer months. We stay off property - onto which , I have found, people look down their noses. But, as I mentioned before, we like our space. I am not interested in sharing a room with my kids. I like our occasional spend-the-night parties as much as anyone, but after a long day of traipsing around Disney brushing up against B.O-riddled foreigners, the last thing I want to do is go to sleep with a bony knee crushing my ribs. So, we stay in a condo off property and have a good amount of space to ourselves for a fraction of what it would cost to get to say, with our heads held high, that we stayed "on property".
Two days before we were scheduled to leave, Kate came down with strep throat. She was kind of puny and had a headache so, as a precaution, I took her to the pediatrician. She had no common symptoms of strep so I was shocked that that was the diagnosis. I was relieved, though, because those antibiotics have my kids feeling better within 24 hours. So, I felt as though she would be in the clear by the time we got there. Unfortunately, the day we left for Orlando, Meg began coughing and becoming feverish. Her symptoms were completely different from Kate's and she was, in fact, much worse. Kate had a mild fever. Meg was burning up. She was so stopped up that she couldn't breathe. She was miserable. I felt so sorry for her. We used almost an entire box of Kleenex on her on the ride down. She was squirting baby nose drops every couple of hours to try and bring some relief, but there really was none. I was able to get a prescription called in for her, but it took her a lot longer to get over it.
I really think Meg's issues were related to a cold and not strep. The reason I know this is because I eventually caught it from Meg. She started the week miserable, and that's how I ended the week. Good health was not on our side. But I have to say that both girls, while they felt pretty crummy, really rallied and did not allow it to interfere with their ability to enjoy Disney and have a good attitude about being there while sick. Because of their resilience, I was forced to also rally when what I really wanted to do was sleep - uninterrupted - for about a day and a half. But they didn't complain, so neither could I. They were very good examples to me and I was grateful for it. I also had Mike's voice playing in my head for much of the trip. Early in our marriage, something had happened - can't remember now - but he commented that he was impressed that I hadn't let it get to me and was able to enjoy whatever it was we were doing despite the bad circumstances. Since then, I have done everything possible to keep up the illusion that I am a "trooper" when, in actuality, nothing could be further from the truth.
At any rate, this was our first trip in which our children understood that the characters were simply that: characters. They knew that it wasn't really Snow White that hugged them, but someone pretending to be her. (That's not really the Mad Hatter; just a perv in a costume who makes money by hugging children.) And the way I figure it, most of the people in the costumes have to be men. I mean, obviously the princesses are women, but how would it be if your child hugged Mickey Mouse and felt a pair of breasts rub against them? Wouldn't they think that odd? So, who knows who is really underneath all of the costumes. Doesn't matter really. That's the magic of Disney!
Our trip differed in another way as well. Kate was hungry for adventure. Up until this trip, we had gone on rides like Dumbo that are kid-friendly. This time, she labeled these as "boring" and went after every roller coaster she could ride due to her height. She even made me ride Everest which is a scary-ass roller coaster at Animal Kingdom. The ONLY reason I rode it was because I really don't want to pass along my fears (both the rational {sharks} and the irrational {the roller coaster is going to fly off the track and crash into a crowd of people and probably a shark will swim over and kill me}) to my children. I want them to be curious and adventurous with a healthy dose of caution. I don't have a healthy dose of caution. I am as cautious as a mo-fo. It's kind of a problem.
I worried that the trip would be "totally lame" to her and that she would be able to convince Meg that it wasn't as great as we all remembered it. To my surprise and delight, as we got out of the car that first day, Meg held my hand and skipped all the way to the monorail. I don't even know if she was aware she was doing it. I looked ahead at Mike and Kate and realized that Kate was doing the exact same thing. She was pulling her daddy's arm as she skipped off trying to get there as fast as she could. I was getting a little weepy and we weren't even in the damn park yet! They both had the Mickey ears on as they raced toward the action. They hugged the princesses and characters (sweaty pervs) and acted like it was their very first trip.
I don't know what it is about that place. It's the happiest place I've ever seen. They obviously have made an art out of tourism. Everything runs smoothly with probably thousands of employees with a, "Have a magical day!" at the ready. The shows are impressive. The grounds are clean. The lines are controlled. They've got it down pat. We have never had a bad experience there. Our kids love it. We love it. It truly is a "magical" place.
Below is a picture I took during our first trip. It is of Kate watching a show where Maleficent, the evil queen from the Sleeping Beauty story, shows up in a huge puff of smoke. This perfectly encapsulates the magic. See for yourself.
And this was Kate and her sister this year. Not much has changed.
Everyone needs to take their kids at least one time to experience it. It is truly one of our family's treasured memories.
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