I’m going to lose 10-15 pounds. But THIS time, I’m not going to put them somewhere where I can find them. I should at least make them difficult to find even if I do ultimately remember where I put them.
This weight gain is ridiculous. I’ve been telling people that I need to lose ten pounds even though secretly, I only thought I needed to lose about five. Then, I went for my yearly physical and it turns out that ten pounds is a little conservative and really I need to lose about 15 pounds in order to not be the amorphous mass I have become over time.
What has happened to my metabolism? Could it be that my clothes are all shrinking in the dryer or at the cleaners? That happens, you know. This most recent weight gain certainly couldn’t have anything to do with my eating habits. Let’s see:
Breakfast –
Most days, nothing or finishing of the girls’ food. Some days I’ll east a cup of yogurt or cottage cheese and a piece of fruit. Not too bad. Then the problem must be…
Lunch –
On the days I stay home, I’ll have a sandwich and chips. Or, if we are out and about, I’ll grab something from McDonalds or maybe we’ll hit the Pizza Hut buffet. Hmmm.
On the days I work, I usually begin emailing coworkers around 9:15 inquiring about the day’s lunch plans. I can suffer through a few rejections and not get discouraged. I am on a mission. When I do find someone who’ll eat with me (I realize this is making me sound like a loser, but a lot of times, my friends bring their own lunches because they are trying to eat healthily), it’s usually a Mexican restaurant (at least once a week) or we will go to a “Meat and Three” where I’ll usually get a big salad. Harmless right? Did I mention the contents of my salad are unrecognizable due to the amount of ranch dressing I have drowned them in? Uh oh. I think I see how this all could be happening. Then there’s…
Dinner –
Wait! I forgot my snack on the days that I’m home! Around 3:00, I usually sit on the couch and inhale a bag (a big one) of whatever chips I have in the house. I always have an impressive assortment, so on any given day it could be Funyuns, Doritos (nacho and cool ranch), chili cheese Fritos, sour cream and onion, or some combination of these. Okay, so…
Dinner –
If Mike is out of town, we hit the McDonald’s, Sonic, or Krystal. Certainly not because I want it. My kids like this kind of stuff. I would much prefer a big plate of vegetables… If Mike is not traveling, sometimes we hit the McDonald’s, Sonic, uh-oh. I’m sensing a pattern. But some nights, I’ll pick up a pizza. For the kids. They love it. I only tolerate it. Or, we’ll go to Waffle House. Again, for the kids.
On the rare occasion I am driven to cook, I’ll fix chicken and veggies (something none of us wants to eat) or spaghetti and salad, tacos, or something else that is quick and easy.
Looking over the list of what we eat, it does look pretty bad, but here is how I rationalize it. My kids are horrible eaters. The doctors have kind of given me license to give them fatty foods (in addition to healthy foods) in order to get some calories in them. So, cheese eggs from Waffle House aren’t as horrible as they sound (translation – please don’t think I am the world’s worst mother). Also, I have Jessica Seinfeld’s book that teaches you how to slide puréed vegetables and fruits into foods kids will eat. I do this with a lot of the things I cook. But, make no mistake. I have to hide healthy things in foods for myself as much as for my children.
I just don’t like a lot of things that are good for me. I love fried foods. I love chips and sweets. I love burgers and pizza. Tacos and meatballs. Bacon and sausage. All of it. And when I eat, I am operating under the assumption that this could be my last meal and I deserve to enjoy it. (If I keep eating this way, it very well could be my last meal on any given day.) What I need to do is to change my mindset about food. Do I have to scarf down every meal because it is so yummy that I can’t get enough? Or, should I start looking at food as fuel and eat things that are healthy for me and reserve the “bad” foods for a few times a week when I will see them as treats? Obviously, I should choose the latter. But really, dogs get treats. Am I a dog? No, I am not. I am a person who is 15 pounds overweight. Damnit!
So, how will I lose this weight? I’ve already established that my eating habits could use some cleaning up. I have begun exercising again. And by that I mean I’ve gotten on the treadmill twice in the past week. But that’s something, right? Gotta start somewhere.
Last week, one of my coworkers returned to work after tending to her sick child who had a stomach bug. Her child lost five pounds in one week because the horrible thing. Everyone around me was saying things like, “Poor thing”, “Sounds awful”, and “Bless her heart”. I was thinking, “Would it be weird if I asked if I could lick the inside of her mouth?” You know, just to kind of jump-start the process.
I guess I’ll have to do what every doctor, nutritionalist, and the like suggests – eat less junk, eat more good stuff, and exercise. That just sounds like a lot of work. I think I’ll just sit on the couch and eat Doritos. Anyone have the stomach flu around here? If so, can I borrow your toothbrush?
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Happiness Is Wanting What You Get
It occurred to me last night as I was filling my coffee maker with coffee beans to grind for this morning’s fuel, how WONDERFUL coffee smells. I was also struck by the resulting letdown that is one’s very first sip of coffee. That horribly bitter taste is truly one of life’s little disappointments. How does something that smells so intoxicating turn into something so …well, disappointing?
It is wrong. Just wrong. And there are several other things both trivial and significant that you learn over time are not what you expected them to be. First-time sex comes to mind (not that I would know about that – just in case my dad is reading…). Your first sip of wine – blechhh! (Your 1052nd sip? MMMMMMMMM!) Discovering in your mid-twenties while trying to squeeze into a pair of previously loose-fitting jeans that your once robust metabolism is falling victim to the ravages of time. Getting your first “real world” job and seeing how the leaders actually conduct themselves. The inevitable pattern in your life of friendship erosion; losing commonalities with friends you always thought you’d be tight with. Yes, sadly, life is full of little disappointments along the way.
I can recall feeling at many stages of my life that things could be good IF/WHEN… fill in the blank. I will be happy WHEN I go to college; I will be satisfied IF I find a good boyfriend; I will be so much happier WHEN I no longer have this boyfriend; and on and on. So, at what stage do you say, “Things are just as I want them”? My grandmother had a sign hanging in her kitchen that read. “Happiness is wanting what you get”. As a kid, I argued with her: “No, happiness is getting what you want”. At that time, the concept was a bit too much for me to grasp.
Over time, thankfully, I have realized that happiness truly is wanting what you get. In most cases, you’re going to get whatever you’re going to get (It is what it is - ugh…). But what we would be better off focusing on is whether we are happy with whatever it is we get. If we are, that’s great. We are ahead of the curve. If we are not, then it is up to us to change our reality.
So, how do you avoid always feeling like things aren’t as good as you’d wished they would be? Well, one way is to change the things that we are not happy we have gotten. I recommend this one although it may be a long process. Another option that may require less energy (which is often the road I take) is to focus on life’s little pleasures. And there are many.
Finding money in your jeans pocket you didn’t know was there. Seeing yours or your spouse’s traits come out in your children. Taking an afternoon nap. Having someone confide in you thereby giving you an opportunity to help them in some way. Becoming friends with your parents and grandparents as you age. Having a really good hair day (maybe one day I’ll know the feeling of this one). This list can go on and on – hopefully longer than the list of disappointments.
Now, I am a natural pessimist. What’s with this uplifting post? Well, in the past few weeks, I’ve really become more aware of the passage of time and how quickly my girls are growing and changing. I spend a lot of time wishing they were a little older so I don’t have to do as much “work”. It’s like I don’t want to make time for them sometimes. But I have recently had some really good conversations with Kate. She makes me laugh so hard with the ridiculous things she says. And Meg is exceedingly happy and is always so excited to see me. She gives me these big bear hugs we call a “tight squeeze”. One day – probably sooner rather than later (but certainly sooner than I will want it to be) they won’t have time for me. And I will be forced to wonder why I didn’t take advantage of the pleasure of enjoying them now and in these moments.
So I am making a conscious effort to take pleasure in what I have right now. As it turns out, I have wanted a vast majority of the things that I’ve gotten. For that I am humbled and thankful. So, the next time I am faced with some kind of a disappointment or reality I wish wasn’t mine, I will try and choose my response and be grateful for what I have in this moment. That’s really all we have anyway.
It is wrong. Just wrong. And there are several other things both trivial and significant that you learn over time are not what you expected them to be. First-time sex comes to mind (not that I would know about that – just in case my dad is reading…). Your first sip of wine – blechhh! (Your 1052nd sip? MMMMMMMMM!) Discovering in your mid-twenties while trying to squeeze into a pair of previously loose-fitting jeans that your once robust metabolism is falling victim to the ravages of time. Getting your first “real world” job and seeing how the leaders actually conduct themselves. The inevitable pattern in your life of friendship erosion; losing commonalities with friends you always thought you’d be tight with. Yes, sadly, life is full of little disappointments along the way.
I can recall feeling at many stages of my life that things could be good IF/WHEN… fill in the blank. I will be happy WHEN I go to college; I will be satisfied IF I find a good boyfriend; I will be so much happier WHEN I no longer have this boyfriend; and on and on. So, at what stage do you say, “Things are just as I want them”? My grandmother had a sign hanging in her kitchen that read. “Happiness is wanting what you get”. As a kid, I argued with her: “No, happiness is getting what you want”. At that time, the concept was a bit too much for me to grasp.
Over time, thankfully, I have realized that happiness truly is wanting what you get. In most cases, you’re going to get whatever you’re going to get (It is what it is - ugh…). But what we would be better off focusing on is whether we are happy with whatever it is we get. If we are, that’s great. We are ahead of the curve. If we are not, then it is up to us to change our reality.
So, how do you avoid always feeling like things aren’t as good as you’d wished they would be? Well, one way is to change the things that we are not happy we have gotten. I recommend this one although it may be a long process. Another option that may require less energy (which is often the road I take) is to focus on life’s little pleasures. And there are many.
Finding money in your jeans pocket you didn’t know was there. Seeing yours or your spouse’s traits come out in your children. Taking an afternoon nap. Having someone confide in you thereby giving you an opportunity to help them in some way. Becoming friends with your parents and grandparents as you age. Having a really good hair day (maybe one day I’ll know the feeling of this one). This list can go on and on – hopefully longer than the list of disappointments.
Now, I am a natural pessimist. What’s with this uplifting post? Well, in the past few weeks, I’ve really become more aware of the passage of time and how quickly my girls are growing and changing. I spend a lot of time wishing they were a little older so I don’t have to do as much “work”. It’s like I don’t want to make time for them sometimes. But I have recently had some really good conversations with Kate. She makes me laugh so hard with the ridiculous things she says. And Meg is exceedingly happy and is always so excited to see me. She gives me these big bear hugs we call a “tight squeeze”. One day – probably sooner rather than later (but certainly sooner than I will want it to be) they won’t have time for me. And I will be forced to wonder why I didn’t take advantage of the pleasure of enjoying them now and in these moments.
So I am making a conscious effort to take pleasure in what I have right now. As it turns out, I have wanted a vast majority of the things that I’ve gotten. For that I am humbled and thankful. So, the next time I am faced with some kind of a disappointment or reality I wish wasn’t mine, I will try and choose my response and be grateful for what I have in this moment. That’s really all we have anyway.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
My Deflated Ego
Before I got married, I was single for several years and completely self-reliant. If the trash needed taking out, I’d take it out. If a picture needed hanging, I’d hang it. If a bug was in the house and needed squishing, I’d squish it. Then I got married and I lost some of that. Why should I take out the trash when Mike is so good at it? Why should I hang a picture that will likely be hung off-center when Mike has a leveler that can aid in hanging it perfectly straight and centered? Is that a bug?!!! AAAAGGGGHHH!!! HEY, MIKE? CAN YOU COME HERE?
I have to say, I kind of miss that self-reliance I used to enjoy. Over time, I think I have lost some of the ability to take care of things. I don’t ever do anything related to home improvement or car maintenance or anything like that anymore. It probably sounds strange that I would be lamenting the days of toilet-plunging, but I just miss being capable of depending on myself to get things taken care of.
A good example of late is when an indication light in my car came on. I had no idea what it was indicating – I even referred to the Owner’s Guide to try and figure out what it was. I never found it and the car seemed to be running well, so naturally I ignored it. About a week and a half later, Mike mentioned to me that my back tire pressure was low and that he had fixed it. I looked at the dashboard and sure enough, the indicator light was off. Problem solved. I asked which tire it was that was low and he pointed to the back tires and said, “See?”. I, of course, didn’t see. They both looked the same to me.
So, over the course of the last few weeks, this light has kept coming on sporadically and Mike has magically made it disappear. Today, however, Mike was out of town. This was MY chance to take of it MYself. So, on the way to take Kate to her gym class, I happily pulled into the local gas station. I was now going to prove to myself that I could once again be self-sufficient.
My first annoyance was the banged-up truck and trailer that had pulled up and parked right in front of the air machine. The grizzly, hippy-looking guy saw me pull in behind him to wait my turn, acknowledged me, and then waltzed inside the gas station. So, this guy saw me… he just didn’t care that I needed what he was parked in front of. Grrrr…
So, I waited for a few minutes until I realized that he was in absolutely no hurry to get out of there and subsequently get the heck out of my way. So, I decided that I could probably just pull around and back in front of the machine to get my air. So, I angrily pulled over where I needed to be and noticed that there was a passenger in the car! At some point, this frumpy, groovy-looking girl could have moved the car since it was clearly blocking my path. But, no, she was too clueless – lost in a cloud of cigarette (or some other type of) smoke.
So, I shot her a dirty look and went about dramatically removing the air hose from its post and squatting next to my back tires – a move choreographed to excess just to drive home the point that they were still IN MY WAY. I had never filled my tires with air before, but I looked like I knew what I was doing. I had the pressure gauge in my hand (at least, I think that’s what it’s called) and when I inserted it into the back left tire, it popped out to about 15 whatevers. Seems like I remembered that tires should be at 30 whatevers, so I pushed the hose onto the thingy on the tire (this is all mechanic-speak for you lay people). I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen. Was I supposed to squeeze the handle to make the air shoot into the tire? It made sense to do so, so that’s what I did. I had considered calling Mike for assistance, but this was my task to accomplish on my own. I held the hose steady for a little bit but the hissing sound kind of made it appear that I was actually losing air instead of filling the tire. I wasn’t at all sure I was accomplishing anything, but I removed the hose and put the pressure gauge back into the tire. This time it looked like it was just a hair lower than the last time, so I clearly wasn’t using the gauge right. I put the hose back onto the tire for a little while longer just for good measure and then went to the back right tire (since I had never really been able to discern which tire was leaking) to repeat these steps.
The right tire seemed to be in better shape because this time the pressure gauge popped out to between 20 and 25 whatevers. I pressed the hose into the tire for a little bit and decided that I needed to go back around to the left tire. If the right tire was between 20 and 25 whatevers, then the left one was too low. Keep in mind, the grungy couple hauling the trailer was still parked in the same place while I was doing all of this bending, stooping and squatting. I was still shooting them exasperated looks whenever possible, of course, and was prancing around this air hose like I knew what I was doing (which I did not).
So, I filled the left tire again briefly and decided to drive over to the pump for some fuel. While I’m pumping the gas, I check out the back tires. They both now seemed noticeably low to me. Maybe it was because I now comparing them to the look of the front tires. I was being more deliberate about how I was looking at this since it was now my project and my first step in reclaiming my self-reliance. Nevertheless, I decided once the tank was full, to go back over to the air hose. By this time, the inconsiderate couple had decided to leave – presumably to go get in someone else’s way.
Once back at the hose, I again got out of the car and went around to the back left tire. I didn’t take the pressure gauge with me this time. I figured I just needed to keep the hose to the tire for a longer period of time. But now it was appearing that this tire was actually losing air. It was now clearly lower than it had been when I had started all of this nonsense. What was I doing wrong? Did I mention that it was drizzling the whole time I was squatting down next to my tires? Why was I doing this?
I went around again to the back right tire and the same thing happened! I was growing more frustrated by the minute. Then I turned to replace the hose and something caught my eye. A small coin slot (as opposed to the big one I was displaying every time I squatted next to my car). A coin slot that indicated that it was 75 cents in order to use the air hose.
Imagine my embarrassment (I’m thinking of that hippy couple watching me) when I realized what I had just spent the better part of 20 minutes doing. I wasn’t pumping up the tires at all. This whole time I had actually been deflating my two back tires by plugging an empty air hose up to them. After fishing around in my wallet to find three quarters, I was able to pump up the tires and we were on our way to the gym. My ego was still somewhere on the ground by the air hose.
Well, that was my heroic story of trying to become more capable of fending for myself as I so often did in my single days. My recommendation to my married (or otherwise non-single) friends out there is to find ways to take care of yourselves even if your significant other could do it for you. Save yourself from waking up one day to realize that you are incapable of carrying out life’s simple little tasks anymore. That realization can really let the air out of your tires. So to speak.
I have to say, I kind of miss that self-reliance I used to enjoy. Over time, I think I have lost some of the ability to take care of things. I don’t ever do anything related to home improvement or car maintenance or anything like that anymore. It probably sounds strange that I would be lamenting the days of toilet-plunging, but I just miss being capable of depending on myself to get things taken care of.
A good example of late is when an indication light in my car came on. I had no idea what it was indicating – I even referred to the Owner’s Guide to try and figure out what it was. I never found it and the car seemed to be running well, so naturally I ignored it. About a week and a half later, Mike mentioned to me that my back tire pressure was low and that he had fixed it. I looked at the dashboard and sure enough, the indicator light was off. Problem solved. I asked which tire it was that was low and he pointed to the back tires and said, “See?”. I, of course, didn’t see. They both looked the same to me.
So, over the course of the last few weeks, this light has kept coming on sporadically and Mike has magically made it disappear. Today, however, Mike was out of town. This was MY chance to take of it MYself. So, on the way to take Kate to her gym class, I happily pulled into the local gas station. I was now going to prove to myself that I could once again be self-sufficient.
My first annoyance was the banged-up truck and trailer that had pulled up and parked right in front of the air machine. The grizzly, hippy-looking guy saw me pull in behind him to wait my turn, acknowledged me, and then waltzed inside the gas station. So, this guy saw me… he just didn’t care that I needed what he was parked in front of. Grrrr…
So, I waited for a few minutes until I realized that he was in absolutely no hurry to get out of there and subsequently get the heck out of my way. So, I decided that I could probably just pull around and back in front of the machine to get my air. So, I angrily pulled over where I needed to be and noticed that there was a passenger in the car! At some point, this frumpy, groovy-looking girl could have moved the car since it was clearly blocking my path. But, no, she was too clueless – lost in a cloud of cigarette (or some other type of) smoke.
So, I shot her a dirty look and went about dramatically removing the air hose from its post and squatting next to my back tires – a move choreographed to excess just to drive home the point that they were still IN MY WAY. I had never filled my tires with air before, but I looked like I knew what I was doing. I had the pressure gauge in my hand (at least, I think that’s what it’s called) and when I inserted it into the back left tire, it popped out to about 15 whatevers. Seems like I remembered that tires should be at 30 whatevers, so I pushed the hose onto the thingy on the tire (this is all mechanic-speak for you lay people). I wasn’t sure what was supposed to happen. Was I supposed to squeeze the handle to make the air shoot into the tire? It made sense to do so, so that’s what I did. I had considered calling Mike for assistance, but this was my task to accomplish on my own. I held the hose steady for a little bit but the hissing sound kind of made it appear that I was actually losing air instead of filling the tire. I wasn’t at all sure I was accomplishing anything, but I removed the hose and put the pressure gauge back into the tire. This time it looked like it was just a hair lower than the last time, so I clearly wasn’t using the gauge right. I put the hose back onto the tire for a little while longer just for good measure and then went to the back right tire (since I had never really been able to discern which tire was leaking) to repeat these steps.
The right tire seemed to be in better shape because this time the pressure gauge popped out to between 20 and 25 whatevers. I pressed the hose into the tire for a little bit and decided that I needed to go back around to the left tire. If the right tire was between 20 and 25 whatevers, then the left one was too low. Keep in mind, the grungy couple hauling the trailer was still parked in the same place while I was doing all of this bending, stooping and squatting. I was still shooting them exasperated looks whenever possible, of course, and was prancing around this air hose like I knew what I was doing (which I did not).
So, I filled the left tire again briefly and decided to drive over to the pump for some fuel. While I’m pumping the gas, I check out the back tires. They both now seemed noticeably low to me. Maybe it was because I now comparing them to the look of the front tires. I was being more deliberate about how I was looking at this since it was now my project and my first step in reclaiming my self-reliance. Nevertheless, I decided once the tank was full, to go back over to the air hose. By this time, the inconsiderate couple had decided to leave – presumably to go get in someone else’s way.
Once back at the hose, I again got out of the car and went around to the back left tire. I didn’t take the pressure gauge with me this time. I figured I just needed to keep the hose to the tire for a longer period of time. But now it was appearing that this tire was actually losing air. It was now clearly lower than it had been when I had started all of this nonsense. What was I doing wrong? Did I mention that it was drizzling the whole time I was squatting down next to my tires? Why was I doing this?
I went around again to the back right tire and the same thing happened! I was growing more frustrated by the minute. Then I turned to replace the hose and something caught my eye. A small coin slot (as opposed to the big one I was displaying every time I squatted next to my car). A coin slot that indicated that it was 75 cents in order to use the air hose.
Imagine my embarrassment (I’m thinking of that hippy couple watching me) when I realized what I had just spent the better part of 20 minutes doing. I wasn’t pumping up the tires at all. This whole time I had actually been deflating my two back tires by plugging an empty air hose up to them. After fishing around in my wallet to find three quarters, I was able to pump up the tires and we were on our way to the gym. My ego was still somewhere on the ground by the air hose.
Well, that was my heroic story of trying to become more capable of fending for myself as I so often did in my single days. My recommendation to my married (or otherwise non-single) friends out there is to find ways to take care of yourselves even if your significant other could do it for you. Save yourself from waking up one day to realize that you are incapable of carrying out life’s simple little tasks anymore. That realization can really let the air out of your tires. So to speak.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
BREAKING NEWS!!
Well, I am hopeful that you are all finally getting back to your routines after last weekend's nuptials of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. I am soooo tired – still recovering from trying to care. What? You hadn’t heard? Where have you been? It’s been plastered all over the news. On the cover of every tabloid. The sole reason for E! Entertainment to exist…
I have just two questions about this wedding:
1. Who are these people?
&
2. Why should I care?
Okay, Lamar is in the NBA. I get why people know and perhaps care who he is. But Khloe Kardashian?!! Who is she? There are three Kardashian sisters if I’m not mistaken. Which one is she? Is she the one who was dating Reggie Bush? Is she the pregnant one? Is she the one whose hair is now lighter than it’s been in recent months? Who are these people?! And why must I constantly be accosted with information about them?
You know, after 9/11 happened, I thought, Now maybe our country can begin to focus on what’s important instead of on Britney Spears. At that time, Britney was everywhere and the paparazzi were following her every move. I remember thinking that the media was trying so hard to turn her into this manufactured star in the hopes we could one day compare her to a tragic legend like Marilyn Monroe. Then 9/11 happened and we began to think a little more seriously about what mattered to us as people and as a society.
But, here we are, eight years later and little has changed. And the worst part about it? Khloe makes me actually care about Britney! At least Britney can sing (okay, let's just say she's a singer). Khloe is a “reality” “star”. She’s not a singer. Not a dancer. Not a writer. Not an actress. Her father defended OJ Simpson. Her step-father is Bruce Jenner. But what has she done? What does she bring to the table? What does she contribute to the greater good? Now we are turning people with nothing to offer the world into these media darlings (hello, Paris Hilton!) and we have once again lost our way in determining what is important and what should be talked about.
Now any of you who know me, know that I love TV, movies, and discussing the Hollywood gossip and latest celebrity deaths. So maybe all of this is odd coming from me. I’m just so disappointed in my good friend, E! When E! was first launched, I’ll never forget it. It was as though my mothership had landed. Here was a network who would be devoted solely to famous people who made good TV shows, movies and music. Sure, it would highlight popular culture and not necessarily intellectual culture. It was like a Biography channel about slightly less interesting people than you’d find on A&E. It would be there simply to give you a little more background on celebrities you liked. What it does today is make stars of people who have no discernable talent other than maybe failing to wear underpants publicly.
I never watch E! anymore because they focus mostly on “young Hollywood” many of whom I’ve never heard of. They also have these ridiculous and trashy “reality” shows. Again, they are trying to make someone who isn’t seem interesting. Since they are telling me that these are the people I should care about or look to to set my standards, then they (E!) are dead to me. Even though I’ve sworn off E!, I still occasionally visit eonline.com for the latest entertainment headlines. But last weekend, it seemed like every hour they were posting some new BREAKING!!!! information about this wedding. First they showed us an invitation to the event which was later proven to be a fake/decoy. Then, by the grace of God, we were about to see the actual invitation. I was so relieved to be able to see the actual font that was chosen. It was as though I was able to be a part of their very special day.
I was also wondering how Lamar would celebrate on the night of his bachelor party. Where would he go? Who would accompany him? Would he do something foolish that would put a damper on the wedding itself (Mario Lopez-style)? Luckily, E! was able to provide me with updates. He ultimately chose something low-key. Whew! Marriage saved!
It was all so ridiculous and completely inconsequential in my life and in any normal person’s life other than the Kardashian and Odom families. A simple headline would have been more than sufficient. This couple shouldn’t be famous enough to even warrant that, but I would have been fine with it getting a mention. But E! lost their minds. Even CNN reported it!! Ugh! Is this the best we have to talk about? Apparently it’s the best I have to talk about…
I have just two questions about this wedding:
1. Who are these people?
&
2. Why should I care?
Okay, Lamar is in the NBA. I get why people know and perhaps care who he is. But Khloe Kardashian?!! Who is she? There are three Kardashian sisters if I’m not mistaken. Which one is she? Is she the one who was dating Reggie Bush? Is she the pregnant one? Is she the one whose hair is now lighter than it’s been in recent months? Who are these people?! And why must I constantly be accosted with information about them?
You know, after 9/11 happened, I thought, Now maybe our country can begin to focus on what’s important instead of on Britney Spears. At that time, Britney was everywhere and the paparazzi were following her every move. I remember thinking that the media was trying so hard to turn her into this manufactured star in the hopes we could one day compare her to a tragic legend like Marilyn Monroe. Then 9/11 happened and we began to think a little more seriously about what mattered to us as people and as a society.
But, here we are, eight years later and little has changed. And the worst part about it? Khloe makes me actually care about Britney! At least Britney can sing (okay, let's just say she's a singer). Khloe is a “reality” “star”. She’s not a singer. Not a dancer. Not a writer. Not an actress. Her father defended OJ Simpson. Her step-father is Bruce Jenner. But what has she done? What does she bring to the table? What does she contribute to the greater good? Now we are turning people with nothing to offer the world into these media darlings (hello, Paris Hilton!) and we have once again lost our way in determining what is important and what should be talked about.
Now any of you who know me, know that I love TV, movies, and discussing the Hollywood gossip and latest celebrity deaths. So maybe all of this is odd coming from me. I’m just so disappointed in my good friend, E! When E! was first launched, I’ll never forget it. It was as though my mothership had landed. Here was a network who would be devoted solely to famous people who made good TV shows, movies and music. Sure, it would highlight popular culture and not necessarily intellectual culture. It was like a Biography channel about slightly less interesting people than you’d find on A&E. It would be there simply to give you a little more background on celebrities you liked. What it does today is make stars of people who have no discernable talent other than maybe failing to wear underpants publicly.
I never watch E! anymore because they focus mostly on “young Hollywood” many of whom I’ve never heard of. They also have these ridiculous and trashy “reality” shows. Again, they are trying to make someone who isn’t seem interesting. Since they are telling me that these are the people I should care about or look to to set my standards, then they (E!) are dead to me. Even though I’ve sworn off E!, I still occasionally visit eonline.com for the latest entertainment headlines. But last weekend, it seemed like every hour they were posting some new BREAKING!!!! information about this wedding. First they showed us an invitation to the event which was later proven to be a fake/decoy. Then, by the grace of God, we were about to see the actual invitation. I was so relieved to be able to see the actual font that was chosen. It was as though I was able to be a part of their very special day.
I was also wondering how Lamar would celebrate on the night of his bachelor party. Where would he go? Who would accompany him? Would he do something foolish that would put a damper on the wedding itself (Mario Lopez-style)? Luckily, E! was able to provide me with updates. He ultimately chose something low-key. Whew! Marriage saved!
It was all so ridiculous and completely inconsequential in my life and in any normal person’s life other than the Kardashian and Odom families. A simple headline would have been more than sufficient. This couple shouldn’t be famous enough to even warrant that, but I would have been fine with it getting a mention. But E! lost their minds. Even CNN reported it!! Ugh! Is this the best we have to talk about? Apparently it’s the best I have to talk about…
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