Progress

Since I am completely devoid of creativity, I thought I'd revisit an old post as inspiration for this one. As you may recall, I set some lofty goals for myself when I came up with some new year's resolutions. I decided to take a look at those and see how many - if any - I have actually kept. Sound fun? Probably not, but it might make you feel better about your own lack of drive and/or willpower. Those that I did not complete successfully, I have no one to blame for than myself as you will see. Here goes:

1. I will make Meg’s scrapbook detailing the events and milestones in her first year of life. (Meg turned 2 in October)

Update - I remember setting this goal. At the time, I considered saying it would be completed by March. Thank heavens I left that part off. Earlier in the year, I enlarged some pictures and sent them to the local Walmart where I would retrieve them and then have what I needed to make her book. However, we changed computers (Went from a Mac to a PC despite all of those clever commercials that let you know what a fool you'd be if you did that) and we STILL have not been able to successfully transfer pictures from I-Photo to whatever it is I have on this HP. I have asked Mike to help figure this out multiple times. He has not. So, I snagged some pictures from Facebook and had those enlarged to fuzzy, disastrous results. I couldn't very well use blurry pictures for my beloved child's scrapbook. SO, delay. But clearly I've done my part. Mike is the one who let me down on this one. I cannot move forward until he fixes the photo problem.

Prognosis - Unmet but still possible. If Mike Will actually get off his rear end and DO somehting...

2. I will limit sweets to weekends, holidays, birthdays, other celebrations...

Update - Well, considering I am eating sugar cookie dough while typing this, no progress. I wouldn't be eating them, of course, if Mike hadn't bought them. Once again, he messes up any chance I have at success!

Prognosis - Not reachable. A stupid resolution to begin with. I should have known better.

3. I will do a better job of not cursing in front of my children.

Update - How in the hell (eek!) am I supposed to quit cursing when f@!king (yow!) people keep doing sh*t (oops!) to piss (ack!) me off?

Prognosis - unf@!kingreachable.

4. I will keep my car neat and tidy (but not necessarily clean).

Update - Well, the "not clean" part is right on target. The rest of it, this "neat" and "tidy" nonsense, is a no-go. My car is more disgusting than ever. I mean, sure, it's dirty. Bug carcasses on top of bug carcasses. Bird poop on the windshield that has been smeared by a failed attempt to get it off with the wipers. But the inside of the car... that's the real horror story. Petrified french fries. Dust all over the dashboard so deep I cannot even see the odometer. Chicken nugget-breading and colorful nerds wedged so deep into the crevices of the carseats that I'm surprised the government hasn't intervened. It's foul and I don't see any hope of improvement. I'm sure this one is Mike's fault, too.

Prognosis - Not reachable. Unless my children's health becomes affected. Then I'll have to do something.

5. I will do a better job of sending thank you notes.

Update - Well, let's see. Our dear friend Lynda came and took pictures of my girls -FOR FREE - and gave me all of the proofs. No note. Mike's cousin gave me a really cool pottery piece that's a chip and dip server. No note. My sister had us in town for New Year's AND gave my daughter very sweet and thoughtful birthday gifts. No note. Of course, anything I do for her, she sends a timely and thoughtful thank you note.

I swear I think she makes things for my kids just to point out what a crappy person I am for never sending notes. She makes me feel really bad about that with her smug way of always being kind and thoughtful. She always sends Lynda a thank you note I'm sure. How am I supposed to compete with that? If we are comparing me to her, I will always lose. It's so defeating. I'm too busy being defeated to be able to find the time or the energy to write a thank you note.

Prognosis - My sister makes it all but impossible for me to accomplish this one.

6. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THESE??!! WHAT WAS I THINKING? I will stop complaining so much.

Update - Well, how would you know if I've accomplished this one? All I said was that I'd stop doing it so much. You have no way of knowing how many times I would have done it were it not for the setting of this resolution. Therefore...

Prognosis - I'm accomplishing the crap out of this one.

7. I will be more patient with my children.

Update - I was laughing as I typed that back in January and I am laughing now. My children aren't laughing though. They are crying because I've just completely lost it with them over something trivial. *Sigh* But, really, if they were better children, I wouldn't have to lose patience with them. Clearly this one is their fault.

Prognosis - Still laughing...

8. I will be healthier.

Update - Okay, FINALLY one about which I can give you some good news! I have recently decided to actually pursue this one. The first half of the year was an exercise in gluttony. I ate whatever I wanted (which was mostly junky foods) and in enormous portions. To be honest, I don't remember the last time my stomach growled. I was never hungry because I was always either full or eating. I began to see pictures of myself (Damn my friends for tagging me in them on Facebook!) and realized that although I certainly looked like it, I was, in fact, not 13 months pregnant. I was, in truth, heavier than I had ever been without being pregnant.

I felt horrible in my bathing suit with my generous gobs of flesh spilling over the sides. My legs were doing that thing where they touch at the very tops of my thighs. I HATE that. In all honesty, my legs are shaped like that and will probably do it even when I'm down to my ideal weight. But, it was so bad that anytime I was in a skirt, I would have to waddle so they wouldn't rub together and chafe. Eek!

I was also tired all of the time because of all of the junk I was eating. We were going out to eat a lot because I was too lazy to cook anything reasonably healthy. So, about four weeks ago I decided I had had enough - just in time for the results to be obvious in the fall when no one would notice.... But, I am happy to report, my legs are looking better; more toned. And I have lost a few pounds. I am also back to being able to run almost three miles without stopping - a tremendous feat given the amount of time I have neglected my treadmill duties. Yay me!

Prognosis - If I keep it up, reachable. But I have to admit, it's a struggle for me.

9. I will not be so happy being frumpy and lazy.

Update and prognosis - But I am really, REALLY happy being frumpy and lazy!!

This one was actually originally written from the perspective of what my husband frequently comes home to - a tired, lazy sweatpants and a raggedy t-shirt or jammies-wearin' vision. This one has actually gotten a little better since I have rediscovered a will to be healthy. But the trade-off is that now instead of me being in my jammies when he comes home from work, I'm in my more hideous "workout" ensemble and covered in sweat and stench. Probably not much better, but hopefully after a shower, he's more pleased with what he sees.

Mercy, revisiting that list was exhausting! and i am really annoyed with all of the people who are preventing me from meeting with success as I pursue these objectives. Why on earth would I set so many goals for myself? I should have known better than to try and tackle all of the areas of my life where I am failing. Surely one or two would have been enough. And since it was so exhausting, I have clearly had my workout for the day.

Maybe I should go on and retire to the couch with a big bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. I've got a lot of cursing and complaining yet to do today...