Nine People + 13 & 1/2 Bottles of Wine = An Elderly Brothers Reunion!

Last weekend I had the honor of being invited to crash a reunion of my favorite band in the world - The Elderly Brothers! That's not a typo. I'm not referring to the 60's rock duo of Phil and Don Everly. I am speaking, of course, of the 1990s/2000s quartet of Jack, Ben, Tom and Andy - four old friends from the University of Tennessee.

Those of you who know me know that Jack is my father. The other guys are fraternity brothers and/or friends of his from the University of Tennessee back in the late fifties/early sixties. They kind of randomly came together back in the late 90s and had a jam session that led to a over a decade of good times, good music and lots and lots of alcohol. And I am lucky enough that they have allowed me to be a part of it.


My sister, Mary, and I have always kind of worshipped my dad. He's just an all-around good man with a whip-smart sense of humor and a kind and selfless way about him. So growing up, we used to park ourselves in the stairwell and listen to him and my mom when they hosted their friends, the Greers. (Greer, incidentally is the aforementioned Ben's last name as well as the middle name of my youngest daughter.) We even took to setting up a tape recorder to record their raucous goings-on and still quote the ridiculous exchanges to this day.

My parents have always been close friends with the Greers. We also grew up hearing Tom's name as he and my dad had been buddies in college. Andy we did not know growing up, but from what I understand my father knew of him when they were in school. They had all played together in various groupings in one form or another when they were in school. I don't think they had ever played together as a foursome until that weekend in Atlanta back in 1998.

When they came together that evening, something extraordinary happened - their voices blended perfectly and they sounded as though they'd been playing together for years. Or, perhaps it was the wine...

Mary and I were there that night, just taking it all in. We both were struck by how neat it was that these folks had drifted in and out of each others' lives for the previous four decades yet came together as though no time had passed at all. They still knew the words and the chords to all of their old standards. They sang the songs she and I had been forced to listen to ad nauseum as kids and now could not get enough of. They sang distasteful (albeit, hilarious) limericks.

And they laughed. They laughed and laughed - each playing off of the next one's narrative. And let's not forget, they drank. We all did. I seem to recall waking up that next morning trying like hell to summon the will to live. (I've woken up many a morning at the Greer's house with that feeling.) At the time, the Greer's older son was engaged and they were in the middle of planning the rehearsal dinner. Someone had the idea that perhaps the four of them should perform there after dinner was served. Then someone else piped in, "You should call yourselves the Elderly Brothers". I wish I could tell you I gave them that name, but I can't. It was my sister and I have hated her ever since for giving them the perfect name.

From there, the band was born. They have played several "gigs" (using that term loosely...) since that time and Mary and I were even asked to serve as back-up singers along with Ben's wife, Lynda. We were the "Viagras", and we were very good, thank you. One of the gigs they played happened to be my rehearsal dinner back in 2002 and it was so fabulous having these men who I dearly love be part of such a special time in my life.

So when we got word that after a long hiatus, they would be reconvening back in Atlanta, Mary and I asked Lynda if they would be so kind as to allow us to once again share in the joy of their time together. Her answer was yes (would she really have said no?!) and down to Atlanta we went. To sing along to songs that no one our age has ever heard of. To laugh harder with these folks approaching 70 years of age than we do with people our own age. To drink copious amounts of wine. And to relish in the bond that these men share after being in each others' lives for so many years.

As much as I love music and as big a role as it plays in my life, my real joy of the Elderly Brothers lies with an important lesson they have taught me. And that is, to surround myself with people of quality and to do everything I can to stay in touch with them as our lives go in differing directions. The people whom I consider to be my close friends are people who interest me and make me laugh. They are worth the effort it takes to keep in good touch.

I said in my very first post that I have been writing a book for some time now. The book is about my experience with the Elderly Brothers and what it has meant in my life. One day, I just may finish it - even if no one ever wants to read it. It's an important thing for me to write, because the subject has given a lot of meaning to my life. What is the meaning of life? I don't know, certainly, but for me it has something to do with creating opportunities to spend time with interesting people who matter to you. That's what the Elderly Brothers do.

Well, that, and they drink lots and lots of wine.

Go For The Goal!

Well, with Easter coming up in a few short weeks, I thought I'd let you
know how I am progressing toward my Lent goal. The original goal was for
me to exercise four times a week. I had to change that during the first
week of Lent due to my lack of doing anything that even began to resemble
approaching that goal. So, I gave up fast food.

I am proud to say that I have been successful thus far in my quest to stay
away from fast food! When Mike travels, it is so easy for me to just
swing by McDonald's and pick up Happy Meals for the kids and eat whatever
they don't eat (which is most of it). On those nights during the Lent
season, I have been feeding Meg cheese eggs - which she loves and will
actually eat - and I have been fixing Kate Princess Soup. It's just
chicken noodle soup where the noodles are shaped like Cinderella and glass
slippers and such. Because it is princess-ey, she'll eat it. I have been
fixing myself a sandwich on those nights and, as a result, have not been
miserably full for the rest of the evening. It's practically as easy and certainly better food for us to be eating. I think once Easter is upon
us and I can officially eat fast food again, I may be less likely to do
so. We'll see, but I am hopeful.

So, I am in the process of accomplishing a goal - yea me! For me, this is
a huge feat. I'm not a real goal-oriented person. There's just not a
whole lot outside of family and work that I am driven to do. Part of this
is just the laziness that is inherent in my personality. But the other
part is - if my family is happy and my manager is happy, then that's pretty
much what I wanted to accomplish.

I'm not one of those people who has said to herself, "I WILL run in a
marathon!" Nah, I'd like to be able to run in another 5k, but I have no desire
to take it beyond that. And I'm okay with having to walk in part of the
5k. Just so I finish with a pulse.

For me, instead of having a goal to be able to run a marathon, my goal
would be MUCH more attainable like:

After I take a nap, I may do laundry.

Now that's something I can live with. If it doesn't happen, (I'm talking
about the laundry here - the nap HAS to happen!) no harm done. (My
husband may disagree with that...) That way I'm not terribly disappointed
in myself for failing. I've left myself enough wiggle room that if I do
accomplish it, it's a nice surprise. And who doesn't love surprises?!!

I have a few friends who have had their babies without any labor
medication whatsoever. For some, there were medical reasons why they did
it. For others, it was because they are, apparently, insane. I asked
one friend out of curiosity why she chose natural childbirth. Her
response was, "Because I knew I could do it." Really? I'm sure I could
do it, too. I also think I could stand still while a fast-flying baseball
hit me in the teeth, but wouldn't it be more comfortable to just move out
of the way? What does it prove that you were able to have your baby
without meds? That you have superpowers the rest of us do not? I'll tell
you one thing you proved to the other expectant mothers who heard you
screaming while they had their babies with an epidural: that they made the
right call.

I don't mean to say that being goal-oriented makes you annoying. (It
makes you annoying to me, but I am only one person.) I'm just saying that
my method works out pretty well for me. I get to take lots and lots of naps. I watched the Winter Olympics recently and I wondered, when was the last time Bode Miller took a nap? Those people train for like, ever. Who wants that? If I wanted to train for a marathon held in the fall, I would have already had to be preparing for it. How on earth do I know what I'll be doing on the fall? I could be fat by then from not exercising.

So, I'm content with my little no-fast-food goal. I am SOOOOO glad I did not give up potato chips for Lent as I have done in the past. I would have caved for sure - Doritos has a new Cheeseburger flavored tortilla chip that is yummers. There's also a new Sour Cream and Green Onion flavor of Cape Cod chip. Haven't tried it yet, but I'm sure it will be everything I dream it will be.

Hope these last few weeks leading up to Easter are good for you too. Good luck with your goals if you are observing Lent. Now, I'm off to my nap.

First The Oscars And Then Other Things That Actually Matter

Not many interesting things have been going on lately which is why you have been spared from another blog post from me. But now I'm back but sadly, there's nothing real earth-shattering to talk about.

First, the Oscars. Loved 'em. I thought Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were hilarious! Of course, I love them both anyway - although Alec may be clinically insane; not sure - but I thought their little quips were silly and fun.

I was expecting all of the people who won to win so there weren't any real surprises. I do think that Meryl Streep's performance carried her movie, so I wish she could have won. But I will go on record and say that I am actually happy Sandra Bullock won. For those of you who know me, I have a list of women in Hollywood that everyone seems to like that I do not. She's on it. I have to say that I have always kind of liked her because I have read numerous stories about her generosity and about how she treats crew members and everyone as equals. What I don't like about her is that she seems to choose roles that are specifically designed to make her look cute and I find that really annoying. She's cute, we get it. She seems to have substance off the camera, so why not choose roles that showcase that? In recent years she has and she was rewarded for it last Sunday. I think I'm gonna have to take her off of my list. That's fine. I'll Kristen Stewart put on it in her place. I've been meaning to add her and her pouty little face for a while now anyway.

Author's Note: I just misspelled the word "recent" so horribly that the spell check's recommendation for a correct spelling of the word was "Rosamund".

I was also very happy for Jeff Bridges. Crazy Heart was a great movie with terrific music. Glad he got a win.

Then, I had a coworker lose a childhood friend to cancer. A battle the friend had been battling for four years. She was a year older than me. Sure seems like more and more people are being diagnosed at a young age. It's just awful how many lives are lost to this horrible disease. I thought again about the Oscars. Makes you wonder why actors (even though I love them) get paid millions of dollars and are universally worshipped and emulated when there are people out there trying to find a cure for cancer.

Anyway, I was talking to my friend about the loss of her friend and she had said that the attitude of her friend had been so inspiring to people around her. She had basically said that for so long she was trying so hard to get past the cancer so that her life could begin anew. Once she had accepted that she may never beat the cancer she told my friend, "Instead of waiting on the storm to pass, I believe I'll just have to dance in the rain".

What a beautiful attitude and one we can all learn from. Instead of saying, okay, I'll be happy once I have this or that, she chose to be happy in her present situation - which was certainly darker than what most of us face. I have a tendency to think that there are certain things I need in order to be truly happy or fulfilled. Why do I do this? I have an incredible life: great husband, great kids, great family and friends... I need to celebrate what I have instead of waiting for an event or a purchase to complete the picture. When I look around, I have EXACTLY what I need.

This girl was 38 years old. I am a year and a half away from that. That is frightening to think about. My mind feels younger than that and in my mind I'm still an awkward teenager. My body certainly feels older than that. I'm grumpy, lazy and tired all the time. I sleep with a heating pad most nights. Next thing you know I'll constantly be reeking of Ben Gay...

I was talking to another coworker earlier in the week and I asked her how old her son was. She said he was almost 34. She shuttered when she realized she was old enough to be my mother. To me, she is my work buddy. It never dawned on me that she is closer to my parents' age than to mine. It is because she is young at heart. Plus, at work, age sort of dissolves. I'll never forget my first week at my first real job - calling people "ma'am" and "sir" and realizing that these people were now my peers.

So, I guess age is kind of what a person makes of it. Look at Betty White. At 88, she is about to become the oldest host in Saturday Night Live history. My grandmother, whom we lovingly referred to as "Gannie", was 94 when she passed away in 2005. It used to really irritate her when people would refer to her as "remarkable". To be called remarkable at 94 was, I guess, a constant reminder that she had already lived longer than most people do. She viewed it as patronizing. Kind of like a compliment that starts out like this:

You look so nice today.

And ends up like this:

Why at your age, it's just impressive that your undergarments are not on the outside of your outfit...

Gannie also told me one time a couple of years before she died, that she had been to the eye doctor and had thought it odd when he said, "See you next year". She said to me, "I thought that was awfully optimistic". Gannie was hoot! Not because she was in her mid-90s and still sharp as a tack at the end of her life, (which actually was remarkable) but because you could have a conversation with her without sensing her age. I've written before about her view of life which was Happiness Is Wanting What You Get. It really is true. Another quote I like is, Be present where you are. Wherever you are, be fully engaged in that moment. if you're not, you could miss something special or poignant or interesting.

I haven't had this stupid blog as year now and I'm already repeating myself with the happiness is wanting what you get idea - but again, I just had a couple of reminders this week to cherish the life you have right this minute even if there are things out there you still may think you need. I seem to have surrounded myself with people who teach me valuable lessons everyday. My coworker's friend who lost her cancer battle this week taught me a lesson without ever having met me. I hope her family knows that this if this is her legacy with me, her life to those who knew her was truly a blessing.

Ask Maggie Vol. 1

So, I have already had to abandon my Lent promise to exercise at least
four days a week. Last week - the first week of my new commitment, by the
way - I only got on the treadmill twice. So, I've decided I'll just go
with the old standby and give up fast food. I will, however, have to go
an extra day beyond Easter before I can eat it again because I had Zaxby's
on Ash Wednesday. I suck.

Not much that is blogworthy going on here these days. Seems like a good
time to start a new Random Ramblings feature. It's called Ask Maggie and its premise is this: I will read and respond to a printed question in a trashy women's magazine like Glamour or Cosmopolitan. I have wanted to
have a self-help column for a while now because of some of the ridiculous
things people actually take the time to ask about. My favorite was a
question I read in Cosmo several years ago.

My sister and I were in line at the grocery store when she and her husband
(pre kids, so this really was a while ago...) were living in Cary, NC. I was flipping through it and saw this question and just had to read it aloud. It basically went like this:

Dear Cosmo Health and Body Expert Something or Other,

I constantly think about food. I eat a lot of fattening foods and then
feel bad about myself for the rest of the day. I don't tell my boyfriend
all of the candy bars I eat during the day for fear he'll call me fat. I
go to bed thinking about food and I wake up hungry. Sometimes I gorge
myself and then make myself vomit.

Then, the last sentence read - and I am not making this up:

Could I have an eating disorder?

When I read this out loud, the man standing behind me actually starting
laughing along with us. First of all, did this person writing the letter know the definition of an eating disorder? Because she pretty much cited it exactly in her
letter. Second, why would she ask this question to a magazine writer and
not a physician? Third, what an idiot.

That's where I come in. I would now like to respond to inquiries like
this one the way they should be responded to. With a healthy dose of
sarcasm! I just really don't like these magazines. All of the airbrushed
models, the "easy" tips to getting fit at work (note to Cosmo, I will not
clinch my butt cheeks at my desk five times a day), the "how to make your
man beg for more" articles, and the stupid "how inhibited are you"?
quizzes - it's all such CRAP. And women and girls just eat it up. This
magazine will solve all of my problems and make me attractive! I don't
like these magazines because they give off the impression that they want to help women find themselves, but really they end up stunting women's growth by placing value on superficial things and outward appearances.

I realize that the way I write would lead people to believe that I am a
complete hag. I'm really not. (Wait, what if I am?!!) I just have for a
long time now been free of the pressure to look a certain way and be a
certain way and project a certain image of perfection. How is it that I
am free? I freed myself by not caring and only investing in people who
also do not care. That's not to say I don't care at all what others
think. I think a healthy dose of concern for that is probably good. As
an example, I try to look decent when I leave the house. I don't want my
kids to have dirty faces or clothes (but I do admit that I am not a
nose-picker and so they normally do have boogies on display) when we go
somewhere. But if they do, I don't apologize for it and I don't let it
worry me. Because at the end of the day, I want my character to be
judged; not the house I live in, where my kids go to school, what size I
wear, etc.

Am I reading too much into these magazines? Absolutely. But I do think they
send a bad message and I am on a one-woman mission to relay a better
message. So, with that said, here goes my first attempt at doling out
advice to the youngsters.

Here is a letter taken from the Single John section of glamour online. It can be found here. Here is the letter:


I've been dating this guy for a year and a half. He is in the military, currently stationed in Japan. We'd been seriously talking about getting married and had even gone to look at rings. He’s been overseas for three months now, and all of sudden he went from wanting to get married to being scared of marriage and telling me it was just too difficult to have a girlfriend while he was over there--that he barely had time for himself let alone time to think about anybody else. It wasn't that he didn't love me or care for me, the distance was just too much. He said he’d be open to getting back together when he's done, which is about a year a half from now. Can someone please explain to me why he is acting this way?

Um... yes, I believe I can.

First of all, you are asking a guy who calls himself "Single John" and works for Glamour magazine. You know that Single John is probably some 40 year old divorced woman, right? Anyway...here's my response.

He is acting this way because he no longer is in love with you. Thanks for your question.

Regards, Ask Maggie

So, there's my first Ask Maggie column. I think it's going to be successful.