Christmas Tizzy

Well, it's been a little while since my last post.  The main reason is because I'm in my annual how-the-heck-is-it-Christmas-already tizzy.  I had intended to write a post about all that I am thankful for during Thanksgiving, but that is now a distant memory.  I'm still thankful for all of those things I would have told you about, but I just don't have time to get into all of it.  Just know that I am a very thankful and grateful person.  K?

We did have a nice Thanksgiving.  Mike and I started the day by running in the Turkey Trot here in Chattanooga.  I'm not sure why we've never done that before.  It was a fabulous idea - it completely erased all guilt I had about gorging myself on turkey and dressing later in the day.  Also, it was the first race I had run that was more than a 5k.  This was 5 miles.  I had never done that before so I was proud that I hit my goal - to complete it inside 48 minutes.  My actual time was 48:53 so I did it by the skin of my teeth.  Of course, my friend Lara who ran with Mike and me had finished the race and read War And Peace by the time I crossed the finish line.  But I was still proud of my accomplishment.  Baby steps.

At any rate, I allowed that race to assuage the guilt I would have felt for my Thanksgiving dinner, the chips and dip I had with my turkey sandwich later that evening, the sausage biscuit I had the next morning, the spaghetti I ate Friday night, the steak nachos I inhaled at lunch the next day, the chili I ate with Fritos Scoops during the (gut-wrenching) Iron Bowl and the leftover-chili cheese and onion hot dogs - with more chips and dip! - I had for dinner Sunday.  Yep,  Thanks goodness I ran Thursday morning.  Otherwise I could have been a total cow.

So, Thanksgiving came and went and now we are in the so-called hustle and bustle of Christmastime.  It has taken me almost the two weeks that have passed since Thanksgiving to drag all of my Christmas decorations out of storage and put them up so that my house can be properly bedazzled.  Poor Mike just shakes his head every time he notices a new wreath or other ornament perched on something that was previously uncovered.  It's time once again for him to suffer through my love of Christmas and my Nazi-like approach to decoration and tradition.  I spent a lot of time last year describing all of that, so I won't put you through it again.  Plus, who has the time?

In my attempts to get the house decorated, I have not been able to find time to do what is perhaps even more important - keeping the house clean.  There must be a 1/2 inch layer of dust on every piece of furniture.  It's thick enough to be noticeable but unfortunately not thick enough to be assumed to be decorative Christmas snow.  It looks awful.  And our aging dog keeps peeing and pooping in my dining room; sometimes multiple times a day; so our home fragrance is a mixture of Frasier Fir and feces.  A lovely combination to mark this festive season.  So, I do get to clean that up everyday, but have not yet managed to dust, vacuum or mop.  Which is pretty gross considering there is canine waste where my family eats.  (I do clean that up with a vinegar mixture so don't be too disgusted.)

I did find some time yesterday to sweep and vacuum the floors.  Kate wanted to help which is so sweet.  So sweet but also very inconvenient because I can do it better and faster.  But, I have to encourage her to continue to want to help me and I want to reward the fact that she is nice enough to offer, so I let her.  Within five minutes of "helping" she managed to knock over my 32 ounce jug of water which had been full at the time.  She felt so bad and was so discouraged.  I felt so sorry for her.  I assured her that it was okay - that it was only water and totally not a big deal - but of course, now I had 32 ounces of water to clean up. Aaah, kids.

In addition to trying to find time to clean my house, yesterday I had agreed to bake 4 dozen cookies for Teacher Appreciation day which is being held Friday.  So, I went to the store and got all of my ingredients and came home to begin the process.  I could have just gone to a bakery, but I opted to make them myself. One, making them was going to be cheaper than buying them.  And two, I really like these cookie bars I make.  Selfishly, I wanted to make more than what was required so that we could keep some and enjoy them over the weekend.  So, I went about beginning the process only to discover that I had failed to buy a key ingredient at the store.  This happens to me ALL THE TIME.  My friend Amber will chuckle at this as she is normally the one I call when I am making macaroni and cheese but have forgotten the macaroni or chicken and dumplings but have no chicken.   I couldn't call her because each batch calls for one stick of butter and one stick of margarine (they are super healthy).  Who has that much butter and margarine lying around?  So I got to go to Wal-Mart for the second time yesterday which is the perfect opposite of a Christmas miracle.

I loathe going to Wal-Mart.  I was there the other day (of course, since it is a daily or sometimes twice-daily adventure for me) and was reminded of how much I hate it.  I was in line in the 20 Items Or Less lane behind an obese woman on a motorized scooter who clearly had more than 20 items, four of which were cans of FDS.  I've complained about these products before and about having the visual of people using them so I won't get on that soap (or FDS) box again.  But I will say that had she not inconsiderately gotten in the wrong line, I wouldn't have had to witness that and wonder what kind of horror was going on with her nether regions.  So, maybe it's not Wal-Mart that I loathe but people.

Anyway, on my return trip to Wal-Mart I passed yet another Salvation Army bell ringer.  This guy didn't realize I had been there earlier in the day and dropped my change into the bucket.  He also didn't realize that I am there EVERY day and have already contributed quite a lot.  Nor is he aware that everywhere I have been in the past two weeks I have been asked to donate a canned good or a dollar or a book or a coat or a toy or a meal - all of which I have done.  Now, despite what these blogs and my tone may suggest, I am a caring person and do have a compassionate and charitable heart.  But I am constantly giving, giving, giving because what else am I going to do?

"Would you like to donate a holiday meal to a family who can't afford one?"

What am I going to say?

"No, thanks."

"Would you like to give money to go toward the purchase of coats for children who do not have them this winter?"

"Well, it's really not been that cold so far, so no."

Of course I'm going to give those things.  And of course I'll do it this time of year because I love Christmas and I can't stand the thought of people not having a Christmas of their own to celebrate.  But when you get asked everywhere you go, it begins to add up.  And when you've been to Wal-Mart twice in one day and you can sense the judging stare of the bell ringer as you walk by pretending to talk to someone on your cellphone so you'll have a good enough reason to just walk right past him, you begin to feel like not that great a person.  On second thought, after re-reading this, I think maybe I'm not that great a person.

So this is what the pre-Christmas tizzy is like for me.  Once it is all over I'll be all sad and nostalgic and wonder where it all went.  I need to just breathe and not let it get too overwhelming and stressful.  Writing this post has been fairly therapeutic for me and I hope that reading it hasn't been too disturbing for you.  I can get up now and see about attacking the dust that remains on my furniture.  But before that, from what I am hearing in the next room, it sounds like I'll be cleaning dog-vomit off of my bed.  'Tis the season...