Steve Jobs, Lionel Richie And The Commodores

I got a text a couple of weeks ago on my iPhone telling me that Steve Jobs had passed away. What wasn’t surprising was that I got the text. My friend Amy and I always try to race to be the first one to tell the other some breaking celebrity news – usually a divorce (Ashton and Demi are keeping us busy these days) or a death. What was surprising was how sad I was to hear about it. Of course it wasn’t unexpected. A diagnosis of pancreatic cancer does not offer much hope. But to hear of his death – the death of an icon – was really sad to me.

Can you imagine inventing something that changes the way people live their lives? I can’t imagine first of all having that good of an idea. Not to mention having the energy to actually design it and share it with others. And surely no one would want my idiotic invention anyway. Let’s say just for laughs that I did have an idea and got off the couch long enough to make a prototype. What the hell would it be and who on earth would want it?

I did have an idea once that I thought should be looked into. I think loaves of bread should be smaller. I throw out a lot of bread. Not half as much as I did when I was single, but still it’s a lot. I could invent a half-loaf (patent pending). But technically bread has already been invented. So, maybe it’s not so much an invention as it is a good idea. Although maybe it’s not so much a good idea as it is a random thought. Personally, I think a half-loaf would be the greatest thing since… sliced bread. (I wish I had invented that.)

But back to Mr. Jobs. He revolutionized the way we communicate. That’s HUGE. Imagine the movie Jaws in today’s world. Chief Brody is chucking dead fish into the ocean hoping to lure the killer shark. The shark appears and Brody jumps back in fear, the hair raised on the back of his neck. He tells Quint that “they’re gonna need a bigger boat”. Quint is unconvinced (because he’s kid of crazy-obsessed with the shark). Matt Hooper appears and pulls out his cellphone, calmly calling for back-up. Back-up arrives and kills the shark. The credits roll. Sure, that’s not as good of an ending as getting to see Quint spit up blood when the shark bites him in half. But a cell phone would have totally changed the story.

Think of Star Wars. Luke Skywalker is wanting to know more about his nemesis, Darth Vader. So, he grabs his iPad and does a quick Google search that turns up all kinds of personal information (and a few questionable photos). Luke reads about his past learning more about what motivates Vader so he can use it to defeat him. He clicks on a link to Vader’s Facebook page. He sees a mobile upload of Darth with his own mother! What?!! It can’t be!! Darth Vader was with my mom? That must make him… my dad! They talk via Skype and then use Mapquest to find the best route to a good restaurant. Father and son bond over a wonder feast prepared by all of the creepy little creatures in Tatooine (Had to Google that. Had no idea where Luke Skywalker lived.) Again, totally different movie if it had been made today. And maybe we could have avoided having to suffer through JarJar Binks.

What was really interesting was learning of Steve Jobs’ death via a text to my iPhone. I remarked that I wondered how many people also were using his invention when they discovered he had died. President Obama also made a similar remark, but I said it first. I think it’s remarkable that we saw that kind of genius in our lifetime (Steve Jobs, not me, although I am very wise as evidenced by this blog). I believe his name will be alongside the Thomas Edisons and Albert Einsteins of our history. What a neat man and a wonderful contributor to our way of life and our culture.

Which brings me to Lionel Richie. I’ve never posted a picture on my blog because it could really become just a forum for me to show you how adorable my children are. That’s what I use Facebook for, so I want the blog to be different. So, instead I bore you with my profound musings about life and popular culture. But today I feel compelled to post a picture because it is so ridiculous and makes me laugh. No other reason. Well, one other reason – it made sense to do so in order to have a clever title for this post (as you will see when I get to the part about the Commodores). So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you this picture that was sent to me via email (again, thanks, Mr. Jobs).

Funny, huh? I have no idea who came up with this or why, or even why I find it so funny. Maybe it’s just the utter ridiculousness of it. Maybe it’s his hair. (I’m sure it’s his hair! Look at it!!!) Maybe it’s the fact that no one has pulled one of the stubs. Could be the turned up collar. But it’s most likely the fact that someone has just now come up with this. This would have been hilarious 25 years ago! Why now? Not sure, but I’m glad someone thought of it.

Which now brings us to the Commodores. Not Lionel Richie’s Commodores, the Vanderbilt Commodores. The three legged, blind, stupid puppy of the SEC. Mike and I took the girls to their first college football game a couple of weeks ago. It was the UGA/Vandy game. We chose that game because we thought it would be a good introduction to college football (although some would argue that that particular game could hardly qualify as “football” but… Mike is an alumnus of Vanderbilt (grad school), so we technically are fans, I guess. I mean really, how do you not root for the ‘Dores? I think I might even root for them if they were playing my undergrad team (Auburn – War Eagle! Woo Hoo!) because they just never can win a big game. At any rate, we figured it would be an easy trip to Nashville and an easy, not terribly crowded game. We sat in the Vandy section (hence the lack of a crowd) and had plenty of room to stretch out and take everything in.

The girls were excited about seeing the cheerleaders. A kind man whom I had approached to ask him where he had gotten his shakers, had given Kate and Meg each one of the two shakers in his possession. Not at all what I intended when I asked (and it kind of made me wish I had asked him where he had gotten his Tag Heuer watch) but it was very nice. So, they girls wildly shook their shakers during the game yelling, “Cheer! Cheer!”, which is what they think the cheerleaders say.

The other thing they were excited about, and I have to admit I was too, was the food. Whenever I go to a sporting event I eat as much junk food as I possibly can before my stomach explodes and other patrons are pelted with the popcorn kernels and pepperonis that I have digested. My kids are no different. For those of you who have seen my children, you know that they are very petite. Try and imagine them eating the following: a hotdog, two small pieces of pizza, popcorn, reese’s pieces, m&ms, a blue slushy thing, a lollipop, some water, and some peanuts. You can’t? WELL THEY DID!! They ate all of that. As did I, except I had a diet coke instead of the slushy thing and I didn’t eat “some” popcorn. I ate a veritable shitload. And, of course, I decided to stop at the little hotel mini-mart on the way back from the game and get a can (large) of sour cream and onion Pringles.

But at any rate, my kids became ravenous beasts. They rarely paid attention to the game itself. They were so engrossed in their food and our friends who we went with. They would periodically look for the cheerleaders or comment on the band, but that was pretty much it. At one point, I leaned over to Kate and tried to explain the game to her so she’d understand what she was supposed to be watching. I explained that we were supposed to cheer (cheer! cheer!) for the team dressed in black. When they did something good, we needed to clap or yell. So, on the next play, Kate saw me cheer (cheer! cheer!) for the ‘Dores and she yelled – and this is a word-for-word quote – “GO BLACK PEOPLE!!!” While I appreciated that she is embracing diversity, this was not exactly the best way to support her team. I asked her to change it to a simple, “Go Dores!” and that was the end of her embarrassing cheer.

The weather was perfect. Our hotel was right next to the field. We spent some good time with some great friends. It was a very nice weekend. It makes me happy that our family enjoys spending time together. And even though I was miserably full of food and fearing I’d have a heart attack and die in the middle of the night, it was a great memory.

So, that’s been my last couple of weeks. Steve Jobs, Lionel Richie and the Commodores. Now I need to wrap up this post so I can grab my iPhone and text my friend Amy. It appears that Lindsay Lohan may pose for Playboy and Kim Kardashian may be headed for divorce…