Well, it's that time of year again. Time for my annual New Year's Resolutions list. Or what I commonly refer to as the the first lies I will tell myself in the new year.
Last year's resolutions were admirable. Weight loss. Less cursing. More patience. Let's have a quick review and see how I did.
1. Complete Meg's scrapbook from her first year of life - As of today, December 30th, this has neither been completed nor attempted. Meg turned three in October.
2. Limiting my intake of sweets to weekends and special occasions - Last night I ate 6 pieces of chocolate because it was in the house. I would have eaten more, but I didn't have any more. Last night was Tuesday.
3. Not cursing in front of my children. I still do this, but I do it more quietly. So, that is kind of a win.
4. Keeping my car clean and neat - I am going out of town today, so I cleaned and vacuumed it last night. I removed 6 dolls, 5 receipts, 1 half-empty bottle of water, two Target bags, 1 coffee cup, 1 empty styrofoam cup, a box of melted crayons, 3 empty DVD cases, 2 jackets, and 3 socks.
5. Send thank you notes - This one I actually attempted. We had a birthday party for Meg in October and I actually wrote several thank you notes. They were in a box on my kitchen counter for a couple of months and I finally moved them somewhere else when it was time to put out the Christmas decorations. I'm not sure where they are now. I did deliver one to a friend of mine at work. Technically, that is more than I sent out in 2009, so I'm calling this one a win.
6. Stop complaining - Read any blog entry of mine from this year and you'll know whether or not this one was met.
7. I will be more patient with my children - Talk about setting yourself up for failure! What was I thinking?
8. I will be healthier - Considering that I am heavier now than I was when I established this as a resolution, I don't think this one was achieved. I did run in two 5ks this year, so that's something. But, do you know what I ate for dinner prior to the 6 pieces of chocolate? You guessed it - Taco Bell.
9. No serious posts - I had a couple. Sorry.
10. Do more to combat my inherent laziness - I sat around a lot in 2010. And I took a lot of naps. I have added no new hobbies. I averaged about 5 showers per week. A couple of pairs of my pajamas are now beginning to look threadbare. This doesn't look (or smell) like success.
Which brings us to 2011. What shall I set for myself this year? Well, for starters I'm not setting 10 of them again. That was just stupidity. One could argue that I got so bogged down in trying to meet all of these goals that it didn't lend itself to my accomplishing any one of them successfully. That isn't the case - I didn't actively try to reach any of them. But, one could still make that argument.
1. So, obviously one important one is the one to be healthier. I seriously need to do that. Once again, my physical showed that my cholesterol is higher than it needs to be. And I know that my kids are learning their eating habits by watching mine. I need to set a better example for them. I need to be thinner. Not way thinner, but I weigh more than I need to for my frame. The last time I weighed this much I was pregnant. I am still eating for two... Or three... Men. Large Men.
2. I am going to go room by room and clean my house. Well, not clean it. But straighten and de-clutter it. I have a closet upstairs off the guest room that is a fairly big size and is where I do all of my wrapping. There are bags and receipts up there from Christmas 2008. Guests cannot hang their clothes on the rods because they cannot physically make their way over to where the old, out-dated, non-fitting clothes that need to be given away are hanging.
The girls' rooms and bathroom have baby things/toys/soaps/crap that need to be thrown out or given away. I need to update the pictures that are on their shelves. I need to throw out the infant Mylicon that my children haven't used in close to three years. AND I need to start requiring that they keep their rooms tidy. They are old enough now that this responsibility should fall to them. Lord knows I'm not doing it. Perhaps they'll do a better job.
The girls' playroom is a disaster. They still have baby toys down there as well. Toys I've tried to give away previously, but they've seen in the give-away pile and decided that they couldn't live without. We have about 12 tons of Happy Meal crap toys that could probably fill an entire garbage bag to overflowing. There are playing cards all over the place. I know there are plenty more than 52, but certainly not all from the same deck. And we have enough kitchen toys to feed a pretend army. It is a nightmare in there.
My pantry is just horrendous. Everything used to have it's place but now the peanuts are with the mandarin oranges and the olive oil is with the rice. I can't find anything in there. And here's something I just learned at 37 years of age. Spices expire. Did you know that? I'll bet I've been using the same coriander (do I ever use that?) since 1997. I wonder if that means that things like flour expire. And when was the last time I used Crisco? It's probably hard as a rock by now.
In 2010, I did clean out the cabinet under my bathroom sink (which was horrifying) as well as my tupperware cabinet. I have been much less stressed in those areas of the house because I'm not constantly reminded of how disorganized I am. If I could do this in several other rooms of my house, think of how peaceful my life will be.
3. I've got to do Meg's damn scrapbook. Seriously. She'll develop a complex if Kate has one and she doesn't. There is no excuse for not having this done. Actually, I'm sure there is a great excuse. I just haven't thought of it yet. I'm sure it is somehow Mike's fault.
At work we talk about setting SMART goals. That is, goals that are:
S ...uh...whoops. Something I can't remember.
Measurable
Attainable (I think)
Necessary
Timed
No wait, that's SMANT. Well, anyway, the acronym helps you make sure they are realistic (that's the R!!) and that you can easily determine if you have met them. I'm thinking those 3 goals are all of those things so I will end the list there.
Surely to goodness I can accomplish three things in a year. If I cannot, then the resolution in 2012 will have to be to have a crane come in and remove my 500lb ass from my sofa.
I hope you set some good SMART and SMANT goals for yourself in 2011 and that it is your best year yet. Cheers!
...oh yeah, the S is Specific.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I Never Dreamed Of A White Christmas
Like the Frasier Fir tree standing tall in my living room, I am a Christmas sap. As clichéd as it sounds, I truly love this time of year. There is such a build-up to Christmas with the music, the smells, the songs, etc., and then every year I get weepy and nostalgic when it must come to an end. We had an extra special Christmas this year in the McCallie household. Below is our Christmas story. Enjoy… and may your days be merry and bright.
We decorated our house during the first weekend of December. This is very early compared to when we would decorate when I was a kid, but fairly late as compared to many of my neighbors. This was really the first year that my kids really seemed to get into the wonder and excitement of the holidays. I missed that for a few years as I made the transition from my traditional Christmas to creating a special experience for my children.
For a couple of years, I was down in the dumps during the holidays because I was no longer doing the things we did when I was a kid. It was no longer about enjoying MY Christmas; it was about creating a Christmas experience that my kids would always remember. As selfish as that sounds, it made me very sad to let go of what I was accustomed to. Of course, now MY Christmas is all about the joy my kids experience. I didn’t realize that fully until this year.
We went and purchased our tree on Sunday, December 4th. We have been going to the same place for several years now – just like my dad and I used to do in Birmingham. Usually, my marriage begins to unravel when we arrive because Mike and I start with very different ideas about what the tree should look like and how much it should cost. This year, we both found the same tree and arrived at a decision in under 10 minutes.
The unraveling of the marriage continues as we bring the tree into the house and place it in its stand. This year, it went relatively smoothly. Sure, we got needles everywhere, and there was some drama with me trying to bear my portion of the weight of the tree as we carried it through the house to its destination (I should say that my portion of the weight is still only about 10% of the weight, but seeing as I have no upper body strength, even that is a challenge). Mike stood it up for the first time and it was leaning just a little. With a quick repositioning, it was straight and ready. One adjustment. That was it.
Now, over the years, I have always been more excited about decorating the tree than Mike has been. Mike generally sits on the couch with a ballgame muted on the TV and hands me the ornaments to hang while I listen to Christmas music. I have secretly resented this because I want him to be excited about the holidays and look forward to all of the traditions I am forcing upon him (tradition that he most likely secretly resents…). It’s not that he’s a Scrooge. He’s not at all. He’s just not the Christmas uber-nerd that I tend to be. This year, the TV was off and we had Mike’s full attention. I know he did it because it’s important to me and to the kids. I think he enjoyed their faces enough to where next year he’ll look forward to doing it. And his participation in it this year without prompting from me kept our marriage intact. At least for another year.
Anyway, the girls were bummed that we made them take their naps when we got home – they wanted to immediately put up the tree and decorate it. Mike and I put the tree in the stand and had it ready to go so that it would be ready to be decorated by the time they woke up. When they woke up, I was busily preparing the spaghetti sauce that I decided we needed to eat for dinner. I had done this early in order to give the flavors time to permeate. Of course, that had set me back in stringing the lights on the tree. The girls were growing impatient because they expected the tree to be primed for decorating when they woke up and seemingly, I had made no progress.
So, with the spaghetti sauce bubbling away in the next room, I began the arduous task of stringing hundreds of lights around the tree. This is usually the time when I am cursing Mike in my head for being of no help while I’m being covered in sap from head to toe with a long strand of lights that are tangled up beyond reason. Granted, light-stringing has to be a one person job and there’s no way I would let him do it. Still, by this time, I’m usually rankled to the point of just being angry at him for anything and everything, so the easiest thing to do is simply curse his name while I try to wrap the lights around each and every branch. Of course, halfway through the project, I lose interest in being so meticulous so every year we end up with hundreds of lights on the lowest third of the tree and the rest of them sparsely twinkling here and there.
This year, the lights went up without incident and it was time to hang the ornaments. The girls were literally squealing and jumping up and down when we told them it was time for them to help. This year is the first time that’s happened. They were bulldozing their way past me and grabbing ornaments out of the storage container as fast as they could. They loved every ornament they saw. “This one is SO beautiful”, they would say with each new snowman or candy cane they would pull out. They got really excited when they found one they had made at school or one that had a character on it they liked. (Try as I might, I couldn’t keep them from finding and hanging Barney…)
We had the sounds of O Holy Night and The Holly And The Ivy filling the air as we all decorated the tree. I was madly snapping pictures so I could capture the smiles and togetherness. I got a great shot of Kate on her Daddy’s shoulders hanging one up high. And, of course, I got several of the one branch that the girls had hung 78 ornaments on; weighing it down so much that it almost reached the floor. And every few seconds we would hear a gentle “thunk” or “clank” as the ones that had been hung by little hands simply fell repeatedly off of the branches. It was a scene that warmed my heart. And the fact that we made it though it without an outburst or meltdown from me was… well, I suppose it was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
As the weeks drew on and our Advent calendar showed fewer and fewer days left to celebrate, the girls were giddy and were unusually cooperative. You see, Allison, our Elf on the Shelf, spent the holiday season with us for the first time this year. She kept close tabs on the girls and was often used as leverage when they would act ugly. If Meg would pout, Mike would say, “Do I need to go touch Allison and take away her magic?” If Kate talked back to me I would say, “Are you seeing this, Allison?” Boy, are we going to miss having her in the house. Someone needs to needs to come up with a “Gnome in Your Home” (patent pending) to watch them for the rest of the year until Allison comes back.
All season, the girls sang Christmas songs. I loved hearing their interpretation of the lyrics:
We Three Kings Of Oreos Are
God Rescue Merry Gentlemen
Deck The Halls With Balls Of Jolly
And Kate, sweet Kate, wanted to give her daddy a picture for Christmas. She asked me if I would wrap it for her. I told her I would so she went into the next room with her paper and her crayons. She came back a few minutes later with a picture of a green stick figure and a heart. I asked her who the person was. She said it was her daddy. Then she told me, “I made him green since it’s his favorite color. And then I drew a heart because I love him.” I almost collapsed into a puddle of tears, but before I could, she quickly gasped and said, “I forgot to make a rainbow!” and ran out of the room to finish her masterpiece.
After it was wrapped and under the tree, she would pick it up almost daily and look at it and ask when it would be time for Daddy to open it. Finally on Christmas morning, it was time. Well, it wasn’t exactly time. We hadn’t even started on our stockings yet. But Kate was about to burst out of her skin for Mike to open it. So, we agreed he should go on and open it. You could see it all over Kate’s face – the pride she had in her work. The hope that Mike would love it. It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen. He loved it, of course, and gave her a big bear hug. Meanwhile, Meg opened a stocking stuffer that did not meet with her approval so she chucked it across the room. My girls are very different. And I love them both to pieces. (In Meg’s defense, for the rest of the day she would say, “Thank you SO much” every time she opened one of her gifts. Very sweet. Just don’t give her a bouncy ball that lights up in her stocking. Lesson learned.)
The other thing that made this Christmas extra-special – aside from being together with Mike’s family on Christmas Eve and my parents on Christmas day – was that we awoke to snow on Christmas morning. And it continued through the late afternoon. In all, we got about 5 inches of accumulation. At 37 years old I had my first white Christmas! It was absolutely beautiful! I couldn’t stop watching it come down. And it gave the girls something to look at in wonder after all of the presents had been opened. They were too busy wanting to make a snowman and roll around in it to realize that Christmas had ended.
And so it ended. As it does every year. The gifts were all opened. The food had made us all uncomfortably full. Christmas music was playing, but you knew that tomorrow you wouldn’t be listening to it anymore. The build-up was over. This magical season we’d anticipated for so long was over and we’d only have the blah of the winter to look forward to. Actually, we have a trip to my sister’s for New Year’s to look forward to. That’s the only thing that keeps me from being really sad on Christmas day. Knowing we’ll be in Greenville doing it all again in a week.
On Christmas night, my dad and I were the only ones still up. We sat out on the screened in porch in front of the fire with my glass of wine and his glass of scotch listening to Christmas music for the last time for 11 months. We talked about his Christmases growing up. We talked about my love of my childhood Christmas and how fun it was to watch my kids experience it for real this year – perhaps for the first time. It was a sign of a lot of fun and memorable Christmases to come. I was getting a little sad wondering what would be the last Christmas song I’d listen to this season. We decided to end on a silly note – Stan Freberg’s Christmas Dragnet which is probably 50 years old. He laughed at the nostalgia it brought to him. “I haven’t heard this in probably 50 years!” And I laughed at the fact that I was such a nerd that I actually think it’s just as funny as he does!
I turned off the fire and then the music and we came inside closing the door on a wonderful day and thinking to myself, okay, only 364 days to go.
We decorated our house during the first weekend of December. This is very early compared to when we would decorate when I was a kid, but fairly late as compared to many of my neighbors. This was really the first year that my kids really seemed to get into the wonder and excitement of the holidays. I missed that for a few years as I made the transition from my traditional Christmas to creating a special experience for my children.
For a couple of years, I was down in the dumps during the holidays because I was no longer doing the things we did when I was a kid. It was no longer about enjoying MY Christmas; it was about creating a Christmas experience that my kids would always remember. As selfish as that sounds, it made me very sad to let go of what I was accustomed to. Of course, now MY Christmas is all about the joy my kids experience. I didn’t realize that fully until this year.
We went and purchased our tree on Sunday, December 4th. We have been going to the same place for several years now – just like my dad and I used to do in Birmingham. Usually, my marriage begins to unravel when we arrive because Mike and I start with very different ideas about what the tree should look like and how much it should cost. This year, we both found the same tree and arrived at a decision in under 10 minutes.
The unraveling of the marriage continues as we bring the tree into the house and place it in its stand. This year, it went relatively smoothly. Sure, we got needles everywhere, and there was some drama with me trying to bear my portion of the weight of the tree as we carried it through the house to its destination (I should say that my portion of the weight is still only about 10% of the weight, but seeing as I have no upper body strength, even that is a challenge). Mike stood it up for the first time and it was leaning just a little. With a quick repositioning, it was straight and ready. One adjustment. That was it.
Now, over the years, I have always been more excited about decorating the tree than Mike has been. Mike generally sits on the couch with a ballgame muted on the TV and hands me the ornaments to hang while I listen to Christmas music. I have secretly resented this because I want him to be excited about the holidays and look forward to all of the traditions I am forcing upon him (tradition that he most likely secretly resents…). It’s not that he’s a Scrooge. He’s not at all. He’s just not the Christmas uber-nerd that I tend to be. This year, the TV was off and we had Mike’s full attention. I know he did it because it’s important to me and to the kids. I think he enjoyed their faces enough to where next year he’ll look forward to doing it. And his participation in it this year without prompting from me kept our marriage intact. At least for another year.
Anyway, the girls were bummed that we made them take their naps when we got home – they wanted to immediately put up the tree and decorate it. Mike and I put the tree in the stand and had it ready to go so that it would be ready to be decorated by the time they woke up. When they woke up, I was busily preparing the spaghetti sauce that I decided we needed to eat for dinner. I had done this early in order to give the flavors time to permeate. Of course, that had set me back in stringing the lights on the tree. The girls were growing impatient because they expected the tree to be primed for decorating when they woke up and seemingly, I had made no progress.
So, with the spaghetti sauce bubbling away in the next room, I began the arduous task of stringing hundreds of lights around the tree. This is usually the time when I am cursing Mike in my head for being of no help while I’m being covered in sap from head to toe with a long strand of lights that are tangled up beyond reason. Granted, light-stringing has to be a one person job and there’s no way I would let him do it. Still, by this time, I’m usually rankled to the point of just being angry at him for anything and everything, so the easiest thing to do is simply curse his name while I try to wrap the lights around each and every branch. Of course, halfway through the project, I lose interest in being so meticulous so every year we end up with hundreds of lights on the lowest third of the tree and the rest of them sparsely twinkling here and there.
This year, the lights went up without incident and it was time to hang the ornaments. The girls were literally squealing and jumping up and down when we told them it was time for them to help. This year is the first time that’s happened. They were bulldozing their way past me and grabbing ornaments out of the storage container as fast as they could. They loved every ornament they saw. “This one is SO beautiful”, they would say with each new snowman or candy cane they would pull out. They got really excited when they found one they had made at school or one that had a character on it they liked. (Try as I might, I couldn’t keep them from finding and hanging Barney…)
We had the sounds of O Holy Night and The Holly And The Ivy filling the air as we all decorated the tree. I was madly snapping pictures so I could capture the smiles and togetherness. I got a great shot of Kate on her Daddy’s shoulders hanging one up high. And, of course, I got several of the one branch that the girls had hung 78 ornaments on; weighing it down so much that it almost reached the floor. And every few seconds we would hear a gentle “thunk” or “clank” as the ones that had been hung by little hands simply fell repeatedly off of the branches. It was a scene that warmed my heart. And the fact that we made it though it without an outburst or meltdown from me was… well, I suppose it was nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
As the weeks drew on and our Advent calendar showed fewer and fewer days left to celebrate, the girls were giddy and were unusually cooperative. You see, Allison, our Elf on the Shelf, spent the holiday season with us for the first time this year. She kept close tabs on the girls and was often used as leverage when they would act ugly. If Meg would pout, Mike would say, “Do I need to go touch Allison and take away her magic?” If Kate talked back to me I would say, “Are you seeing this, Allison?” Boy, are we going to miss having her in the house. Someone needs to needs to come up with a “Gnome in Your Home” (patent pending) to watch them for the rest of the year until Allison comes back.
All season, the girls sang Christmas songs. I loved hearing their interpretation of the lyrics:
We Three Kings Of Oreos Are
God Rescue Merry Gentlemen
Deck The Halls With Balls Of Jolly
And Kate, sweet Kate, wanted to give her daddy a picture for Christmas. She asked me if I would wrap it for her. I told her I would so she went into the next room with her paper and her crayons. She came back a few minutes later with a picture of a green stick figure and a heart. I asked her who the person was. She said it was her daddy. Then she told me, “I made him green since it’s his favorite color. And then I drew a heart because I love him.” I almost collapsed into a puddle of tears, but before I could, she quickly gasped and said, “I forgot to make a rainbow!” and ran out of the room to finish her masterpiece.
After it was wrapped and under the tree, she would pick it up almost daily and look at it and ask when it would be time for Daddy to open it. Finally on Christmas morning, it was time. Well, it wasn’t exactly time. We hadn’t even started on our stockings yet. But Kate was about to burst out of her skin for Mike to open it. So, we agreed he should go on and open it. You could see it all over Kate’s face – the pride she had in her work. The hope that Mike would love it. It was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen. He loved it, of course, and gave her a big bear hug. Meanwhile, Meg opened a stocking stuffer that did not meet with her approval so she chucked it across the room. My girls are very different. And I love them both to pieces. (In Meg’s defense, for the rest of the day she would say, “Thank you SO much” every time she opened one of her gifts. Very sweet. Just don’t give her a bouncy ball that lights up in her stocking. Lesson learned.)
The other thing that made this Christmas extra-special – aside from being together with Mike’s family on Christmas Eve and my parents on Christmas day – was that we awoke to snow on Christmas morning. And it continued through the late afternoon. In all, we got about 5 inches of accumulation. At 37 years old I had my first white Christmas! It was absolutely beautiful! I couldn’t stop watching it come down. And it gave the girls something to look at in wonder after all of the presents had been opened. They were too busy wanting to make a snowman and roll around in it to realize that Christmas had ended.
And so it ended. As it does every year. The gifts were all opened. The food had made us all uncomfortably full. Christmas music was playing, but you knew that tomorrow you wouldn’t be listening to it anymore. The build-up was over. This magical season we’d anticipated for so long was over and we’d only have the blah of the winter to look forward to. Actually, we have a trip to my sister’s for New Year’s to look forward to. That’s the only thing that keeps me from being really sad on Christmas day. Knowing we’ll be in Greenville doing it all again in a week.
On Christmas night, my dad and I were the only ones still up. We sat out on the screened in porch in front of the fire with my glass of wine and his glass of scotch listening to Christmas music for the last time for 11 months. We talked about his Christmases growing up. We talked about my love of my childhood Christmas and how fun it was to watch my kids experience it for real this year – perhaps for the first time. It was a sign of a lot of fun and memorable Christmases to come. I was getting a little sad wondering what would be the last Christmas song I’d listen to this season. We decided to end on a silly note – Stan Freberg’s Christmas Dragnet which is probably 50 years old. He laughed at the nostalgia it brought to him. “I haven’t heard this in probably 50 years!” And I laughed at the fact that I was such a nerd that I actually think it’s just as funny as he does!
I turned off the fire and then the music and we came inside closing the door on a wonderful day and thinking to myself, okay, only 364 days to go.
Monday, December 6, 2010
How 'Bout Them War Eagles!
In this season if miracles, perhaps there are none bigger than the fact that Auburn is ranked #1 in the BCS poll. It seems like as long as I have been an Auburn fan (and, I’ll get into what that means later) it has been one disappointment after another.
Not that we haven’t had some really good seasons – we have. We went undefeated when I was in school there in the early-mid 90’s. Of course, we were on probation at the time so we couldn’t go to a bowl or have a shot at the national title. Then, more recently, under Tommy Tuberville we were undefeated and did not get an invitation to play for the national championship. Very discouraging. We seem to always find a way to shoot ourselves in the foot.
Until Cam Newton. Except…oh, wait…we might have paid him to play for us. I certainly hope it isn’t true and the NCAA doesn’t seem to think there’s been any wrongdoing (at least for now), but I still have an uneasy feeling about this season. Cam is a tremendous athlete and has been awesome (or, AUsome, I suppose) to watch. It has really been a fun season to experience except for the dark cloud that has been following us around amid rumors of possible pay-to-play shenanigans. I hope it’s not true and I hope we win in Arizona. I will be cheering (and probably cussing some too) for my Tigers from home and will be very proud of we win the title. That would be AUsome for us, for sure.
And that’s about the extent of my plans for the game. I’ll be excited if we win and bummed if we lose. And, you know, then I’ll go back to my day to day life. So, that’s what makes me an Auburn fan and not an Auburn person.
You may find yourself asking, "But Maggie, what the difference in an Auburn fan and an Auburn person?" Let me see if I can explain it to you the way it I understand it as exemplified by my college boyfriend.
An Auburn FAN is someone who goes to some of the games and roots for Auburn to win. They are able to take a win or a loss in stride and focus on their job, their family, their hygiene and other essential duties in their lives. They don’t really like people who root for Alabama but have a healthy respect for the rivalry that exists. If it rains or if there’s a blowout, they’ll leave a game early. They may have their diplomas framed in their office and could perhaps have some kind of Auburn trinket on a bookshelf in their house. They look back at their college time with mostly fondness (but perhaps some regret at the choices of hair) but love their life now and wouldn’t go back and do college over again.
In contrast, an Auburn PERSON is a complete loon who was born and raised to worship Auburn and everything associated with it. These are the people whose parents said to them, “You can go anywhere you want to for college. But I’m only paying you to go to Auburn”. Their mood rises and falls with the performance of the football (or insert other sport here) team. They absolutely loathe University of Alabama graduates and are unable to see reason where this is concerned. They stay at a game until the bitter end no matter how crappy the weather or how much Auburn is winning or losing. Their Auburn paraphernalia isn’t limited to one bookshelf, one wall, or even one room. No, their love of Auburn is proudly displayed in most rooms of their house. Whereas some people may have contemporary style, these people’s style is called “Auburn”. They get down to Auburn any chance they get and probably organize neighborhood or work caravans for multiple sporting events. And last but not least, they believe wholeheartedly and will actually spend the time on several occasions to tell you that there is actually a difference between an Auburn fan and an Auburn person.
I suppose I’m just a lowly old fan. I love Auburn. I’m glad we’re winning. And that’s about the end of it. Have I given us a few “War Damn Eagles” this season? You bet! I’ve been excited. It is exciting. But I've kept in it what I would consider a healthy perspective.
My college roommate, whom you may remember from this story, and I always thought the battle cry “War Damn Eagle” was funny. We understood “War Eagle” even though a lot of people are confused by that since we are the tigers. But throwing the “damn” in there, kind of makes us sound like a bunch of loudmouth, football-lovin’ Alabama rednecks. As in, “War Dayum Eagle, Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaw!”
We thought it would be funny to insert some other curse words in there just to see if it packed the same punch. A few of my favorites:
War Poot Eagle!
War LordyBabyJesus Eagle!
War Butthole Eagle!
War Buns Eagle!
Oh, the fun you can have when you’re 19!
So, on January 10th, I’ll be tuning in like a good little Auburn fan and will be very emotional about it – win or lose - in the 15 minutes after the conclusion. And that will be that. And hopefully, the NCAA is truly done with their investigation and this cloud of suspicion around Auburn athletics will dissipate. I won't give anyone a hard time for thinking that Auburn did something dirty to get Cam to come and play. Because it is very possible that we did. I'd love a win and a BCS title, but I will keep it in perspective and not go all "Auburn person" on you about it.
Until next football season, War Sphincter Eagle to ya!
Not that we haven’t had some really good seasons – we have. We went undefeated when I was in school there in the early-mid 90’s. Of course, we were on probation at the time so we couldn’t go to a bowl or have a shot at the national title. Then, more recently, under Tommy Tuberville we were undefeated and did not get an invitation to play for the national championship. Very discouraging. We seem to always find a way to shoot ourselves in the foot.
Until Cam Newton. Except…oh, wait…we might have paid him to play for us. I certainly hope it isn’t true and the NCAA doesn’t seem to think there’s been any wrongdoing (at least for now), but I still have an uneasy feeling about this season. Cam is a tremendous athlete and has been awesome (or, AUsome, I suppose) to watch. It has really been a fun season to experience except for the dark cloud that has been following us around amid rumors of possible pay-to-play shenanigans. I hope it’s not true and I hope we win in Arizona. I will be cheering (and probably cussing some too) for my Tigers from home and will be very proud of we win the title. That would be AUsome for us, for sure.
And that’s about the extent of my plans for the game. I’ll be excited if we win and bummed if we lose. And, you know, then I’ll go back to my day to day life. So, that’s what makes me an Auburn fan and not an Auburn person.
You may find yourself asking, "But Maggie, what the difference in an Auburn fan and an Auburn person?" Let me see if I can explain it to you the way it I understand it as exemplified by my college boyfriend.
An Auburn FAN is someone who goes to some of the games and roots for Auburn to win. They are able to take a win or a loss in stride and focus on their job, their family, their hygiene and other essential duties in their lives. They don’t really like people who root for Alabama but have a healthy respect for the rivalry that exists. If it rains or if there’s a blowout, they’ll leave a game early. They may have their diplomas framed in their office and could perhaps have some kind of Auburn trinket on a bookshelf in their house. They look back at their college time with mostly fondness (but perhaps some regret at the choices of hair) but love their life now and wouldn’t go back and do college over again.
In contrast, an Auburn PERSON is a complete loon who was born and raised to worship Auburn and everything associated with it. These are the people whose parents said to them, “You can go anywhere you want to for college. But I’m only paying you to go to Auburn”. Their mood rises and falls with the performance of the football (or insert other sport here) team. They absolutely loathe University of Alabama graduates and are unable to see reason where this is concerned. They stay at a game until the bitter end no matter how crappy the weather or how much Auburn is winning or losing. Their Auburn paraphernalia isn’t limited to one bookshelf, one wall, or even one room. No, their love of Auburn is proudly displayed in most rooms of their house. Whereas some people may have contemporary style, these people’s style is called “Auburn”. They get down to Auburn any chance they get and probably organize neighborhood or work caravans for multiple sporting events. And last but not least, they believe wholeheartedly and will actually spend the time on several occasions to tell you that there is actually a difference between an Auburn fan and an Auburn person.
I suppose I’m just a lowly old fan. I love Auburn. I’m glad we’re winning. And that’s about the end of it. Have I given us a few “War Damn Eagles” this season? You bet! I’ve been excited. It is exciting. But I've kept in it what I would consider a healthy perspective.
My college roommate, whom you may remember from this story, and I always thought the battle cry “War Damn Eagle” was funny. We understood “War Eagle” even though a lot of people are confused by that since we are the tigers. But throwing the “damn” in there, kind of makes us sound like a bunch of loudmouth, football-lovin’ Alabama rednecks. As in, “War Dayum Eagle, Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaw!”
We thought it would be funny to insert some other curse words in there just to see if it packed the same punch. A few of my favorites:
War Poot Eagle!
War LordyBabyJesus Eagle!
War Butthole Eagle!
War Buns Eagle!
Oh, the fun you can have when you’re 19!
So, on January 10th, I’ll be tuning in like a good little Auburn fan and will be very emotional about it – win or lose - in the 15 minutes after the conclusion. And that will be that. And hopefully, the NCAA is truly done with their investigation and this cloud of suspicion around Auburn athletics will dissipate. I won't give anyone a hard time for thinking that Auburn did something dirty to get Cam to come and play. Because it is very possible that we did. I'd love a win and a BCS title, but I will keep it in perspective and not go all "Auburn person" on you about it.
Until next football season, War Sphincter Eagle to ya!
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