A Battle to the Death (of my dignity)

I am embroiled in a battle. It is not a battle of wills or a battle of wits, thankfully. But it is a battle just the same. And I want to win.

A photographer in Chattanooga is holding a contest the winner of which will receive a free 16x20 portrait or $150 off of a future session. She is using her favorite photo from each of the sessions she had in 2009. The one she chose from her session with us is a sweetly beautiful picture of Kate outside holding onto the handrail in our backyard. She looks so gentle and innocent. You would never know by looking at her face the way it was captured what an imp she can be. There is an opportunity to vote between now and January 15th. So, those of you who read this blog and are not in the running, please go and vote: www.dianasimpson.com (then click on her blog, then vote for my daughter).

This contest is not really about whose kid is the cutest. I will tell you emphatically that mine is, of course, but that’s not the point. You’ll go to the website and you’ll see other adorable children. It’s not really about which picture is the best. All of the pictures are good and worthy contenders. The picture of Kate is simply and truthfully one of several very good pictures of a very cute child.

What the contest is about, since we’ve established it should not be based on merit, is the fact that I want to win the prize. Do I want it for the bragging rights? Kind of, I guess, but that’s not my main motivation. Do I view it as a popularity contest? Sort of, I suppose. He (or hopefully “she” please oh please oh please) who has the most friends willing to vote will win. Do I want a 16x20 portrait for free since the pictures are so freakin’ ridiculously expensive? YES. I do. And I’m not ashamed (though I probably should be) to admit it. Nor am I ashamed (though I definitely should be) to tell you why you shouldn’t vote for my friends and neighbors whose photographs are also in the running.

First, there’s the Charapata photograph. A really good one, by the way. Probably better than the one of Kate. Amber is the subject’s mother and my closest friend in the neighborhood. Her boys are big buddies with my girls. She’s a great girl all the way around. That’s just the point - she is very pretty, she has beautiful hair, she has tons of friends, she has a really cute figure, great clothes, magnetic personality… she doesn’t need this. Plus, she’s a lot younger than I am. She has more time to win things in the future.

Then there’s the Cobb photograph. It’s one of my favorite photos ever of a kid that is not mine. Noah looks so sweet coloring in his room. It’s a great picture and Noah is a great kid. I love his mom, Denise. She lives right across the street and we used to get together with them a lot when the weather was better. She is hilarious, pretty, has the haircut I want but would look awful with, is in great shape – great figure, is very intelligent and has really great style – clothes, jewelry, shoes, everything. I can tell you that she already has quite a few pictures on her walls from her session with the photographer. I simply don’t know where she would put another 16x20. It would probably stress her out to have to find a place to put it. Clearly, she’s not the best choice.

Finally, there’s the Blackiston portrait. It’s a great one and was actually used as their Christmas card. It has the whole family (all 5 and growing) on the bed with a gift wrapped in pink to indicate the newest addition they expect next month. Very sweet picture of a beautiful family. And Steph, the mom, is a beautiful girl inside and out. She is tall and thin (save for the current baby-bump), is always smiling, and has the most gorgeous strawberry-blonde hair I’ve ever seen. She does more with her day than I do with a month. She home-schools her three boys, she cooks, she has a blog that has a bazillion readers, she is outgoing, positive, creative, and spiritual. What could she possibly need with a win? Her whole life is a win.

Which brings us to me. I am frumpy and disheveled most days. I only shower about 4-5 days a week. I lose my patience frequently with my kids. I use questionable tactics to try and win contests. AND I am clearly a horrible friend (as evidenced by the previous three paragraphs). Will I be happy for my friends if they win? Yes, I will. Do I want things to go in their favor? No, I do not.

Okay, I don’t deserve it. That’s clear. But don’t think of it as a vote for me. Think of it as a vote for Kate. Sweet Kate.

You know she was born 10 weeks early right?

Only weighed 2 lbs, 10 oz.

But if you want to vote for someone who was born full-term, please don’t feel guilty.

Here’s one more tidbit for you: At the end of our session, the girls were playing in the backyard on the swing set while the photographer was loading up her equipment. At the same time, she and I turned around and watched helplessly as Meg, my sweet two year old, fell off of a ladder she was climbing to get to the top of the slide. It was so scary! She fell on her neck and then flopped over. My first thought was that she could have cracked or broken her neck. Meg and I both cried for about 30 minutes after it happened. Such trauma. She’s okay, thankfully, but it really was a harrowing experience watching her fall from that height and then seeing her body go end over end. I don’t want you to feel pressure to vote for us simply because of this mishap, I’m just telling what happened. You can let your conscience handle the rest.

So there it is – my plea for votes. I know it is shameless and I really do feel bad about it. But this is war. War is ugly. What are you gonna do?

To vote for Kate, please go to www.dianasimpson.com and click on BLOG. The contest is at the top. Kate is midway down the last under “McCallie”. You can vote as many times as you like.

To vote for someone else’s kid, please find another contest.