Please Bare With Me

At what point does an actor decide her or she will be naked on film? And I'm not talking about porn "actors", either. That's a head-scratcher (no pun intended) on so many levels I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'm talking about regular actors like Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, Julianne Moore, Kate Winslet... These people don't have to do it for the money. Their movies do well without them having to get naked. The whole thing just seems so WEIRD.

Think about it. These people go to work like you or I. Think about your coworkers. Sure, their coworkers are other beautiful, famous people whereas yours and mine are dumpy and acne-ridden or at best, average like you and me. Can you imagine walking into the break room Monday morning and meeting a new person you'll be working with:

"Nice to meet you, Tom. I understand we'll be dry-humping each other on Thursday. I'll look forward to working with you."

THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!!

Maybe they don't refer to it is dry-humping (does anyone anymore?) but they simulate sex with people they work with and IT'S THEIR JOB TO DO SO. Is it me or is that completely bizarre??! Sure, people all over the place have office affairs (which I also cannot comprehend) but that's something they choose to do as an escape from whatever boredom their life has become. It's not a pre-planned, well-rehearsed job duty. (At least it shouldn't be. That's illegal.)

But getting back to porn "actors" again. What makes them decide that that's what they are going to do to earn a living? Do these people have parents?!! Grandparents???!! When they do get the job (no pun intended), what do they tell said parents and grandparents? How does that conversation go?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad! I've got some news!"

"What is it, dear?"

"Well, I'm going to be in a movie!"

"A movie? That's terrific! What's it about?"

"Well, um, I play this girl - she's a virginal freshman away from home for the first time and she orders a pizza with extra meat for her sorority sisters. Then, well, there's um, this kind of bizarre hazing ritual and...um, you know what, never mind. Just... forget I brought it up (no pun intended)... it's uh, it's not really a big (no pun intended) deal and, uh, the acting isn't really very good... and... say hi to mom for me. Gotta go."

It's just hard (no pun intended) for me to wrap my brain about that one. But to already be a famous, successful actor and now you're going to allow all the world to view your bare hiney???!!! I don't know about you, but I spend most of my waking hours trying to mask all of my many imperfections. I think if anyone other than my husband ever saw me naked I would just have to kill myself. Can you imagine writhing around on another person completely - or even partially - naked, cameras rolling, and knowing that at any time anyone can view this? YIKES!

I'm sure you are wondering what prompted this post. I was watching a movie recently with Gwyneth (to clarify - I wasn't watching the movie with her; she was actually in the movie...). It was called "Two Lovers". In it, there is a scene where she stands in front of the window and flops a boob out for Joaquin Phoenix and the rest of the world to see. I realize that any men who were reading this are now scrambling to get to their Netflix queue but for those of you still reading, why does she do this? She has enough clout and enough acclaim to not have to do that anymore. Nudity should be reserved for those people trying to make it (no pun intended) in the movies and think that there is no better way to do so.

Anyway, it just struck me as odd that part of an actor's job (no pun intended) could potentially be to be nude in front of their coworkers. Sure, I'm grateful that it has been part of Daniel Craig's job (N.P.I.) and hope it will be again. I'm just sayin', I think it's weird. Hard to grasp (N.P.I). Perhaps I shouldn't concern myself with the comings (N.P.I.) and goings of these people. I guess when I start pondering something, it's kind of hard for me to just sit on it.

No pun intended.