Second Post - Hooray!

Well, obviously the world is overjoyed with my new blog. Not a single comment from my first post. Oh, well...

I've just put the girls down for a nap and am listening to them do everything but go to sleep. How is that possible? When I have the opportunity, I can't WAIT to lie down and go to sleep!!! If only they knew how precious a thing naptime is, they would savor it forever.

So, what's new in my world to "blog" about? Not a thing. I told you having a blog was a stupid idea. I guess I can spend this time talking about one of my pet peeves - turning nouns into verbs. Take a look back at the sentence I typed where I referred to blogging as a verb. A blog is not a verb but a noun meaning: complete and total waste of time for people narcissistic enough to think anyone cares what they do or say. But people always seem to want to take simple, everyday nouns and turn them into verbs. Are we that lazy that we can't take the time to say, "I am going to write something for my blog"? Must we simply say, "I'm going to blog"? Please, don't ever say, "I'm going to go key something into my blog". 'Key' is another noun that has been turned into a verb. We now 'incent' people to do better instead of offering a person an incentive. (I've also actually heard people say 'incentivize'. Are you serious?!!!) We 'access' things on the computer instead of gaining access to something on the computer. Ugh! It is so annoying. It's all I can think about 24/7 (another peeve). I believe I'll blog about incenting you to key stuff into your computer so that you can access it later.

* Incidentally, I just ran a spell check and it told me that blog (as a verb) and incent were not words.

I'll tell you what else I find completely irritating: the now popular phrase 'It is what it is'. Well, of course it is what it is! You've just wasted my time and yours pointing that out! A close second to my most-hated phrase is 'We can only do what we can do'. Again - you are not helping me, you're not solving a problem, you're not coming up with creative solutions... you're not making any kind of a profound breakthrough by saying this. You are, in fact, pointing out to whomever is within earshot, that you are an idiot.

So, what can you do about this growing problem? Commit to not falling victim to buzzwords and popular/trendy phrases. Use nouns as nouns and verbs as verbs. Don't invent words just because you are lazy. I am extremely lazy as I mentioned in my last post, but it doesn't give me the right to create a new word every time I want to. Sorry for all of the bitching (a noun used as a verb). I can tell this blog is really a bad idea.

Oh well. It is what it is.

First post!

Well, folks, I said I’d never do it, but for some reason I now find myself compelled to start a blog. I always looked down my nose at people who felt that other people cared what their opinions were about things that were happening in their world, so I start this by acknowledging openly that I am a hypocrite.

So why now?

Well, I have to have some kind of creative outlet. I can’t sing. I don’t dance in public. I can scrapbook, but I’m too lazy to do it. I like to cook, but not enough to put a whole lot of time into it. I don’t have any hobbies other than television viewing and napping. But that doesn’t make me very interesting to be around. I love to talk and I love to laugh. A ha! I’ve found something that I am reasonably good at. Now what? Just because I think I’m hilarious (which I am) doesn’t means you will. But that doesn’t really matter, does it? This is my blog and you don’t have to read it.

So why a blog? Well, I’ve tried writing a book. It’s taken me about 10 years - seriously – and I’ve written two chapters and the ending. And… it's HARD! You have to remember all of the names you’ve named your characters. And let’s face it: my characters aren’t really characters but actual people. So, then there’s that – the fear of offending someone by writing about them as you actually see them. Also, you have to have an editor (I think) and I know that I’ll have several grammatical and punctuational errors. (Is “punctuational” a word? It doesn’t matter – this is a blog, not a book.) Plus, due to my aforementioned laziness, I know I’d never finish a book. This format is much more conducive to my writing style and most likely to your attention span. So, here we are.

Plus, I have always kind of lived my life with the notion that I will one day walk into a Wal-Mart and be “discovered” and go on to a long and lucrative career as an actress/writer/producer in Hollywood. I don’t really want that life, mind you. It would just be nice for someone to meet me and instantly know that the rest of the world should be exposed to my wit and intellectual musings.

A few of my friends have compared me to former Saturday Night Live star, Amy Poehler. I take that as an enormous compliment. She has gotten to do so many things that I would have loved. And she is good. Really good. Also, a lot of people think I look like Gwenyth Paltrow (okay, I made that part up), so I am a natural fit for Hollywood.

Getting back to the blog – you will notice (assuming you haven’t already stopped reading) that I ramble a lot and get sidetracked. I have nothing new or original to say to the world. I’ll mainly be talking about parenting, work, silly things I’ve observed, movies I love, and food. So, I guess that's mostly what I'll write about. We'll see how it goes. Thanks for visiting!